Judgmental
by iloveleyton0
Summary: AU Peyton Sawyer is completely misunderstood. Her life is pretty much a living hell. People judge her by the way she looks, but no one truely understands her. What happens when the kindness of a new guy in school named Lucas Scott changes her view on life
1. Reality

**A/N: Ok, so this has been on my mind and I wanted to write something that had meaning. Something that could impact someone and make people understand that there is kindness in the world. I'm really hoping that you guys enjoy this!! Please Review! (LP)**

**Chapter 1- Reality**

My name is Peyton Sawyer. I am 17 years old and have blonde, curly hair with green eyes. I am labeled many things everyday. Gross, weird, disturbed, etc. Those people that label me don't know me. No one knows me or knows what I am going through. I am a normal girl but no one can see that through my clothes. They judge me by the way I look. Stereotype. I don't think anyone believes in the saying "Never judge a book by its cover." In my opinion, I am just misunderstood. People don't want to take them time to get to know me and see that I am good person.

My life is basically a living hell. My parents are both junkies who can't go an hour with out smoking pot or having at least 10 beers. They barely even notice when I am home and when I've been gone for a week. My friends, well let's just say they aren't exactly what I would call friends. They're the type of people that offer me drugs to make me feel better. I don't accept them because I don't want to be like my parents. They don't care about me. No one does.

I go to Tree Hill High School. Everyone is separated in their cliques. We have jocks, cheerleaders, goths, geeks, a bunch of others that I am probably forgetting, and then there is me. I'm a loner. I speak when spoken to and look at the ground when I walk in the halls. I don't dare look any of them in the eye, fearing that they'll laugh or whisper about the clothes I'm wearing. It's unfair. I sit by myself at lunch and just draw. I draw pretty much anything, mostly dark images. Sometimes I'll draw things that don't even make sense.

The only time I am truely happy is when I'm listening to music. Music is my escape route to a different world where prejudiced people don't exist. When I'm done listening to music, I go back to the same old shit. My parents screaming at eachother and sometimes my father will take his problems with my mom out on me. He'll beat me up a little or slap me right across my face. Then when he's finished he'll act like it is my fault by saying, " LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO NOW!" The truth is I just ignore it and let him do it. When he hits me, it doesn't hurt anymore. It used to hurt like hell, but now I found a way to stop the pain. I just imagine that I am in a world where people love me and don't want to hurt me. My mother completely ignores the fact that he does this to me. She pretends like she doesn't see it happening, but I know that she notices. She's just too stoned to care.

Every morning I get up for school and have the same routine. I get up, go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush my teeth, apply dark makeup to my eyes, put clothes on, and leave. I walk to school unlike most seventeen year olds who have a car. It really doesn't bother me that much unless it's raining or if it is cold.

When I got to school, I walked straight to my class and sat in the back corner just like everyday. No one say by or around me and if they did, it was only to taunt me.

My teacher's name was Mrs. Browne. She treated us all like we were 5 years old and a lot of people took advantage of her kindness. She never realized it though, I sort of felt bad for her.

Just then, a guy, whom I have never seen before walks into the classroom. He is extremely handsome. He has sandy blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a magnetic smile. He looks about 6'3''. Maybe a little taller. He looks like he just stepped out of a magazine. I tried to fit him into one of the stereotypes and the one that fit the most was the jocks.

"Hi, I'm Lucas Scott. I'm new here," I hear him say to Mrs. Browne when he walked over to her desk.

"Oh. Lucas. Hi. umm Everyone! Listen up! We have a new student in our class today. His name is Lucas Scott and he has just transferred from..."

Lucas finished, "St. George High School."

"Lucas, you can have a seat anywhere there is an open desk."

I watch as every girl has there eye on him. He was simply gorgeous.

"Damn, he is hot. Betcha I can get him in bed," I hear Brooke Davis say to her friend Rachel.

"Not if I get him first," Rachel says.

To my surprise, and everyone elses, Lucas comes and sits by me. No one has ever wanted to even look at me and here is a beautiful guy who is sitting next to me by choice. I had to be dreaming, but I wasn't. This was unbelievable.

He smiled at me and asked. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

I'm still so shocked, but I manage to speak. "Umm. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I don't mind at all."

Everyone's eyes are on Lucas who chose to sat by me, Peyton Sawyer. I look over at Brooke who is in utter disbelief along with everyone else in the class. Lucas doesn't seem to notice that people are staring at him with confusion. I start to become a little upset when people start to whisper things about me. Yeah, I know that people don't like me, but when I hear it over and over again, I can't help but get a little depressed.

Lucas is paying close attention to the English lesson that Mrs. Browne has already started. I can't help but notice how perfect his features are. I feel so dumb for staring at him so closely, but I can't tear my eyes away. Lucas turns and looks at me noticing that I was staring at him. I look away suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed.

He smirks at me. "Hey. What's your name?" Lucas asks.

At first I don't think he's talking to me. "Me?"

"No. The girl next to you." Lucas says.

I look to my left and see that the left of me and notice no one is there. I feel stupid as he starts to chuckle a little but. "Umm Peyton. My name is Peyton."

"It's nice to meet you Peyton. I'm Lucas."

"Yeah. I know."

I feel so nervous and I have no idea what to say to this stunning, model-like figure sitting next to me so I remain quiet for the rest of the period.

"Alright class. You can have the last five minutes to yourself."

"Peyton?" Lucas says.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could show me around school a little? I kinda don't know where anything is, and I would really appreciate it."

He's asking me of all people to show him around. He clearly must not know what other people think of me or else I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking me.

"Yeah. I'd be happy to."

"Thanks. I hate being new and not knowing where the hell I'm going. It sucks."

"I wouldn't know that feeling. I've lived in Tree Hill my whole life."

"This was my first move so I guess I kinda don't know the feeling either."

The bell rings.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah. Let me just get my things together," I say to him.

As I'm getting my books together, I hear Brooke's voice.

"Hey Lucas," Brooke says, "I'm Brooke. Brooke Davis."

"Oh hey. I'm Lucas but obviously you already know that."

"Well, listen if you ever need anything at all, I can help you out with it. If you want me to show you around, I.."

Lucas cuts her off, "Thanks, but Peyton's going to show me around."

I look up and see Brooke glaring at me evily. She looks as if she wants to bite my face off or something.

"Oh. Ok. Well, don't hesitate to ask for anything."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

Brooke walks out of classroom and Lucas turns to me.

"She seems nice," he says.

"To you," I say picking up my books. Lucas and I start to walk out of the classroom together.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Let's just say Brooke and I are complete opposites. She's Brooke Davis and I'm Peyton Sawyer. You can't put those two names in the same sentence."

"What's so different about you two?"

"Well, if you really want to know. She's this popular cheerleader who any guy would give their life to date and me, well I'm nobody."

"How can you say that, Peyton? You are someone."

I look at him, touched by his words. Lucas Scott has an amazing heart. He doesn't even no me and he is already being so kind and caring. I could really get used to having him around

"Thanks, Lucas. That means a lot."

"Anytime. I just don't like to see someone put thereself down like that."

I change the subject. "So where's your next class?"

"Umm I have Calculus in room 107."

"Oh, so do I."

Lucas and I walk to class together and I show him around school. We have 4 of the same classes and it was the same thing in every class. Every person looked so shocked that Lucas sat with me. Lucas didn't seem to mind all of the staring.

At the end of the day, I started to walk home when someone pulled up beside me.

"Hey. Need a ride?" It was Lucas.

"It's ok. I can walk." I say.

"Oh, come on. It's the least I can do considering that you showed me around school all day today."

I hesitate but then give in. "Ok."

I get in his car and he smirks at me. "So, I don't really know this place very well and I think you're going to have give me directions."

I laugh. "Turn right up here and then make a left at the light."

"Ok. Got it."

"Why'd you end up moving here? I mean this is a really small town."

"My Dad got a huge job offer and he really wanted to take it."

"Ah, I see."

"Yeah, I really didn't want to move because I hated the thought of having to make new friends." He looks over at me. "I'm glad I met you, Peyton."

I smile wider than I had intened to. It's just that to here someone say that means so much to me. I hadn't had any real friends and this person that I had just met already appreciates me. He was one of a kind.

We arrived at my house. "Thank's for the ride Lucas."

"Yeah, anytime. If you ever need a ride again, just ask."

"I will."

"Bye Peyton."

"Bye Lucas."

Lucas. What a gentle soul. He was so perfect and caring. No one had ever been so nice to me. His kindness had such an impact on me. It made me think that not everyone is the same and that people aren't always so cruel. Lucas Scott was proof of that.

I walked into my house and once again my parents were screaming at eachother. Tomorrow, I would show up with more bruises on me and have to try to cover them.

Welcome back to reality. Welcome Back to Hell.

**Reviews Please!**


	2. Discovered

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad that you all are liking it so far!**

**Chapter 2- Discovered**

Last night, I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't hold any of it in any longer. I always try not to cry because I don't want to give my father the satisfaction of knowing that he won. When he's finished hurting me, I normally stand there and just look at him. I let him see what he has, once again, done to me. He looks back at me and sees a handprint across my face, black and blue bruises starting to form along my cheekbone and arms, and blood trickling from my nose. But he doesn't show remorse or sorrow toward me. All he said was, "Clean yourself up." and then he threw a towel toward me. I didn't dare cry in front of him. I waited until I was in my room.

Today, I have to wake up earlier. I have to be sure to disguise my bruises and cuts. When I get to the bathroom, I pull out cover up and concealer and apply it to my wounds. I didn't need people looking at me any weirder than they already were. But then I remembered Lucas. He was the only person who actually showed emotion toward me. Lucas was different, not like everyone else. I didn't get too excited about knowing someone like Lucas because he could disappear at any moment. What I mean by disappear is he could turn just like everyone; treating me like I am not even there.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see beauty. I see pain and hurt. I see someone who doesn't know there place. I see someone who just wants to have someone care. I see dreams crushing right before my eyes. I see no one.

Physically, when I look in ther mirror, I see a girl who is trying to cover up her bruises, and it really isn't working. Behind all of the concealer and make up, I can see them and even though they are covered, I know they are there.

As usual, I have to wear a long sleeve shirt to try to cover the bruises on my arms. I hated that I had to wear those especially if it was warm outside.

When I walked downstairs, I peeked into the living room to find my mother smoking a cigarette and my father passed out on the couch. He probably drank too much last night. I was happy that he wasn't awake.

"Bye Mom, I'm going to school," I say barely above a whisper.

No answer.

I sigh and walk out the front door. I turn and find Lucas standing with his hand in the air about to knock on my door. At first, I think I'm not seeing him so I shake my head and close my eyes. I open them back up and he's still there. I really am seeing him.

"I was just coming by to see if you needed a ride again."

I grin at him. Who would have thought that there were people like him in the world.

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks."

"Yeah. I told you that you don't have to be afraid to ask, but I knew you wouldn't ask so I just came by instead. I thought maybe that you had left but clearly you're still here."

"Yeah, I normally don't leave until, well right now."

We walked to his car and got in.

"You can pick the music if you want."

"Thanks, Lucas."

"I normally don't let anyone touch the radio so you should feel special."

Special. I liked the sound of that.

I reached for the radio and went to change the station. As I did, my sleeve slid up revealing the bruises on my wrist.

"Woah! How did you get that?" Lucas said pointing at the wound.

I looked at my wrist and quickly pulled my sleeve back down. I didn't know what to say so I just said the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I, um, I fell."

"On your wrist?" he asked confused.

"Yeah. Well, no. Yeah." I am such an idiot. _I fell._ What a lame excuse. Why couldn't i have just said I banged it on my bed or something?

He looked suspiciously at me. "If you say so. You can still pick the station if you want."

"No. It's fine. You can do it."

"Oh-kay," he said confused.

I was silent the whole way to school fearing that I would say the wrong thing or one of my bruises would show again. I didn't speak much in the classes we had together either. He would try to start up a conversation, and I wouldn't finish it. I felt so rude, but he wouldn't understand what I was going through.

At lunch, we sat together barely speaking. At that moment, Brooke walked over and sat down next to me. I knew she wasn't sitting here for me, but for Lucas.

"Hey cutie," she said to Lucas, completely ignoring my presence.

"Hey Brooke," Lucas said looking at her then back at me as I lowered my head.

"So, I saw you playing basketball with some of the guys in the Gym and you're really good. I think you should definately try out and I could be your cheerleader," Brooke said flirtatiously winking at him.

"Um, I was thinking about trying out, but I'm not sure yet."

"Oh. You should totally do it. You'd probably start considering that you're amazing at it."

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Later pretty boy," Brooke chirped as she walked away.

"Nice to see you too Brooke," I say while looking down at my sketch book.

"What do you think?" Lucas asked.

"What do I think about what?" I ask.

"Me trying out for basketball?"

"Well, if you're as good as Brooke says you are then you should."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"Then I will," Lucas decided. "So what are you drawing there?"

I held up my art that showed Lucas eating a sandwich. He laughed when he saw it. "Peyton, that's really good. You have a lot of talent."

"Thanks Lucas," I say. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you always complimenting me?"

"I just feel like you need to hear it from someone. You should take pride in your work, and I want you to know that someone cares."

I smile at him right when the bell rings.

"You coming?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll catch up just let me get my books together."

"Alright."

I watch Lucas walk toward the hall and I notice Brooke walk up to him. They laughed for a few seconds, smiled, and talked. I got my books together and started to catch up with Lucas.

When I approached him, all I heard was Brooke say, "Just think about it."

He didn't say anything. "What did Brooke want?" I ask.

"She invited me to a party tomorrow night."

"Oh. Are you going?"

"If you go with me."

I'm stunned by his last words.

"Do you want to come with me? Besides, I probably won't even know my way," Lucas said laughing.

"I would love to go with you Lucas, but it's just I don't think that they would want me there."

"Why not?"

"Because look at me. Look at them. I don't really fit in, if you know what I mean."

"Peyton, you have to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Putting yourself down like that. You know what I see when I look at you? I see someone with greatness and talent and potential. I see someone who is good person. I see someone smart and caring. I see you, Peyton. I see you."

Without realising it, I throw my arms around him and start to cry into his chest. I cry because no one has ever said something like that to me. No one has ever made me feel the way Lucas has. No one has ever saw something in me. No one until now. No one except for Lucas Scott. He puts his arms around me and just holds me tight, not asking why I am crying. I'm glad he doesn't. I pull away from him and mumble a thanks.

"You might want to go in the bathroom and wash yourself up." he says smiling. "I'll wait for you."

"Ok," I say as I walk into the bathroom.

I throw water on my face and reach for a paper towel to pat it dry. I walk out of the bathroom to Lucas who is waiting for me.

"Oh my God Peyton! What the hell happened?" he asks.

I'm not sure what he's talking about. What does he mean?

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"Your face, oh my god!"

Oh shit! I wiped off my cover up and concealer. My cuts were now revealed. I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I look in the mirror before I left?

"I..I..Umm..It's nothing. I just fell! I already told you!" I run my hands through my hair nervously while tears start to form in my eyes again.

I don't want him to see me like this so I run into the bathroom again and that is wear I stay until the end of the day. I cry. I just sit and cry. I'm so embarrassed, so ashamed. I want to disappear. I just want someone to understand how I'm feeling. No one can. Not even Lucas.

At the end of the day, I hear the final bell ring. I wait 10 minutes before I walk out of the bathroom. I don't want anyone to see me. I peek out the door to see if anyone is there, but the halls are empty. The coast is clear. I speed walk to the doors and when I get outside. I run. I run for me. I run to just feel for a little while. I run to stop the pain and emptiness. I run.

I reach my house, but I stop. I don't want to go inside. I don't want to be hit for nothing. I don't want to see them, but I have to. I have to go inside.

I walk inside slowly, praying to God that my parents are both passed out. Sound horrible, doesn't it? I look in the living room and see my mom passed out, but where's my dad? I hear someone coming down the stairs. Oh, dear God, please just be my imagination.

But it's not. It's him. It's my so called Father. I look at him and watch him pass me. He then turns to look back at me.

"You didn't go to school with your face like that did you?" he asks.

"I had make up on it, but it washed off," I say not looking him in the eye.

"Great Peyton! Just Great. Now everyone is going to think that I abuse you! Is that what you want? You want people to think your father abuses you? You want them to throw me in jail?"

"I never said that," I say barely above a whisper.

"You're lying Peyton! You know I hate liars!"

I start to turn away wanting to go up to my room.

He grabs my arm and turns me around to him. I want to pull free, but I don't try to. If I did, it would be worse.

"Don't you turn away from me when I'm talking to you!" He yells almost making me deaf.

He's drunk. I can smell it on his breath, and I can see it in his blood shot eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say with a straight face.

He pushes me against the wall and slaps me across the face as hard as he can. I flinch a little because of the other wounds he hit. I feel blood falling down the side of my face. He reopened old wounds. He's a sick bastard.

"Stop looking at me like that you bitch!" he yells.

I still look at him. I let him see the blood falling down the side of my face. I let him see the hurt he's caused me. I let him see how mad he is. I am proof of that.

"I said Stop it!" he yells. He grabs me by my hair and slams me to the floor. "Get in your room! I don't want to see you anymore!"

I walk up to my room satisfied. He might have won physically, but I won emotionally. I grab a towel and wipe the side of my face, while I put a bandage on it.

I think of Lucas. I want to tell him how I'm feeling. I want to tell him the truth. I want to hug him like I did earlier today. I know he would try to understand what was happening in my life. I know because he's different. He is Lucas Scott. He is my friend. I don't call people that often because they aren't. But Lucas, he is.

I know that tomorrow will be awkward between us, but I'll try to explain. I'll think of a better excuse. No matter how bad I want to tell him what really happened, I can't. I just can't. THings will be blown out of proportion.

Lucas Scott has given me a reason to keep going when everyone else has been telling me to stop. Lucas Scott makes me enjoy living. Lucas Scott is my savior.

**I love reading what you guys think! Reviews are appreciated!**


	3. Humiliation and Imitation

**A/N: Once again, thank you all so much for the spectacular reviews! You guys are too kind! I've been updating quickly because all of your reviews are very encouraging! This was one of the chapters that I really enjoyed writing. It has a lot of intense moments. And also, I just wanted to point out that in this chapter Lily is older than Lucas. She is in college! I just thought I'd let you all know so you don't get confused! Please Review!**

**Warning: Toward the end of this chapter, it's kind of depressing. I don't want to give it away. I just wanted to warn everyone so just be ready.**

**xoxox**

**Gianna!**

**Chapter 3- Humiliation and Imitation**

That night, around 2 a.m., I decided to go for a walk. Yeah, I know it's really late, but most of the time I'm not even asleep. I can't sleep at night, ever. I just wanted to get away from it all for a little while. I just want to forget everything and try to just be happy. There are so many thoughts rushing through my head and I can't keep up with any of it. My life is too confusing. I don't understand anything anymore.

I used to think I would get a hit by my father for a reason. Maybe because I didn't do the dishes or that I didn't make my bed or that I didn't pick up my toys. I know the truth now. My father feels the need to take his anger and stress out on me. He uses me like I'm a punching bag or a stress ball. It's not right for anyone to be treated the way I am, but it's my own fault. It's my fault because I don't want to do anything about it. I let him get away it because he's my father. My superior. My master.

School. School was also a nightmare for me. From the taunting to the whispering about the way I look, I was sick of it all. Then came Lucas. He was unoticed. He was kind. Lucas made me happy to be there.

Then I remembered the way I acted when he saw my bruises. He seemed like he just wanted to help me, but I pushed him away. I can't let him in no matter how bad things get or how nice Lucas may seem. Like I said before, he could disappear.

I once had a really great friend. She was my best friend when I was in third grade. We did everything together. You could pretty much say we were inseperable. She made me laugh when I was sad and we would tell eachother stories to cheer the other up. But then, her mom met me and forbade her to hang out with me. It was because of the way I looked and the way I dressed. She listened to her mother and when I saw her she would ignore me and pretend like I wasn't there. That's when everything went downhill. That's girls name was Brooke. Brooke Davis. Shocking right? Yeah, I thought so too. She doesn't approach me anymore and we still don't speak, but life goes on I suppose.

When I finished my walk, it was about 6 a.m. I had walked for four hours and my head still wasn't clear. Everything was a mess in my mind. The way I see it, my life was so broken that nothing could fix it. Not kindness. Not anything.

After I had finished getting ready for school, I walked down the stairs quietly, praying to God that my parents were passed out or too stoned to notice me. When I peeked me head down the stairs, there they both were. Passed out on the floor. Thank you God. I opened the front door and closed it softly behind me. I began to walk briskly to school.

When I arrived at school, it was 8:03. I still had 27 minutes before school began. At my locker stood Lucas. I walked slowly to my locker. He watched me closely as I approached him.

"Look, Peyton about yesterday-" Lucas began, but I stopped him.

"Lucas, it's fine. I just got into a fight with some girl and she ended up kicking my ass. I guess I was just a little pissed about it." That lie was a lot better than the _I fell_ lie, but I could tell by his face that a part of him still wasn't buying it.

"Oh," he begins, "Who was the girl?" Lucas is digging deeper. I have to think of someone. Anyone.

"Um. I..You won't know her and what's done is done. I really don't want to talk about it," I say pretending to still be upset about this so called fight.

"Sorry," Lucas apologizes.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"So, about the party tonight. You never gave me an answer. Do you want to go?" Lucas asked.

"I don't know, Lucas. It's just.."

"Oh come on Peyton. If you or me isn't having fun then we'll leave."

I hesistate.

"Please?" He pouts his bottom lip and I smile at how dumb he looks.

"Ok. Fine," I say giving in.

"Good," Lucas says satisfied with my answer.

The school day had passed and Lucas had offered to give me a ride home, like he always has for the pass couple of days.

When I got in Lucas' car, I thought about what would happen when I got home, and I don't think I could take another beating. That was the last thing I needed.

"Lucas? Umm, Do you mind if I, umm, go over to your house? I'm really not in the mood to go home because.." I stopped myself.

"Because?"

"I just wanted to hang out," I say quickly.

"Umm sure.Yeah."

When we arrived at Lucas' house, I looked around. It was nothing like my house. His house was the type that was in movies. The type where you knew the perfect family must live there. The house smelt of spices and flowers. In the hall way, there was pictures of Lucas and his family. His house was immaculate. I would have been surprised if I had seen even the slightest bit of dust. My thoughts on Lucas' home were interrupted when I heard a woman.

"Lucas? Is that you?" It was his mom.

"Yeah mom. It's me." Lucas walked into the kitchen with me following close behind him.

His mom looked right at me and smiled. It wasn't a fake smile. It was real. She was a beautiful woman which must explain why Lucas was so handsome.

"And who is this?" she asked Lucas.

"This is Peyton Sawyer. She's been showing me around school for the past few days. Peyton, this is my mom."

"Hi," I say reaching out my hand to shake it.

That was a stupid thing to do. My sleeve lifted again, like it had with Lucas, and her eyes looked straight at it. She shook my hand anyway ignoring the bruises. I was thankful that she had. She had a look of concern on her face, but I chose to ignore it.

"So, Lily's home from college. She should be arriving any minute." Right after she had said that a tall, brunette walked through the door. She looked exactly like her mom.

"Lily! Hey!" Lucas exclaimed running to her and giving her a hug.

"Hi!" She embraced him.

I watched as I saw how much they loved eachother and how well they got along. I wanted to have a family like that with all my heart. I would give anything for someone to care that much about me.

Lucas' sister Lily then turned to look at me and cleared her throat, saying that she wanted to be introduced.

"Oh! Lil, this is Peyton. Peyton this is my sister Lily," Lucas said.

"Hi," I said just waving my hand. I didn't dare reach to shake her hand.

"Hey," Lily said with a smile.

Lily and I began to talk as Lucas helped his mom out with a few chores. Lily was so kind and generous. I guess it ran in the Scott family. I was really happy that we began talking because I never had many girl friends. She talked mostly. I mainly listened.

"Your hair is gorgeous. Are these natural curls?" Lily asked reaching to touch my hair.

"Yep," I say.

"It's beautiful," She says. There was a short silence between us. I could tell that she was debating on what she was going to say next. "Would you be offended if I asked to do your make up for the party tonight? It's totally cool if you say no, but I just really love giving make overs."

Wow. This was unbelievable. I barely know her and she's already being so nice to me.

"Yeah. Sure. Of course," I say excitedly.

I never really liked when people wanted to do my makeup, but Lucas' sister seemed really excited about it.

"Ok. Sweet! Just go wash your makeup off and then meet me in my room," Lily said getting up and walking to her room.

Oh no. I didn't think of that. She was going to see my bruised face. Why did this always happen? I stood still for a little while before I walked over to the bathroom to wash my other makeup off.

When I finished, I looked at my reflection. I looked hidious with all the scars, new bruises, and wounds. How was I going to explain this to her?

I walked into her room and she had the same expression on her face that Lucas had when he first saw me like this.

"Woah. What happened?" She asked concerned. She got up from where she was standing and to stand right in front of me.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. I got in a fight like a week ago. It's nothing. Really." It was something. I just learned to lie right through my teeth.

"Must have been a pretty damn bad fight."

"Yeah, it was."

"Well, come sit and let me see what I can do to cover those up. Is there any specific colors you don't want as eyeshadow?"

"Pink, purple, red, light blue.."

She cut me off, "Yeah I got it, I got it. You don't like girly colors."

"Yeah."

"Its cool. I don't either. Alright close your eyes and let me work my magic."

It felt good to have someone like her being so friendly toward me.

Lily had finished quickly. "Alright, open your eyes!"

I obeyed and opened my eyes. She had a mirror in front of my face. I had smoky eyes with astonishing, long lashes, and the perfect amount of eye liner. My bruises. You couldn't even see them. I would have never even known they were there.

"Well?" She asked.

"It's wonderful. Thank you so much."

"Yeah, what can I say. I have a gift," she said laughing.

There was a knock at the door. "Lily? Are you and Peyton done talking because we have to go. The party starts in like 15 minutes."

"Yeah, one second. Please tell me you have something cute to wear tonight?"

"Umm, does this count as cute," I say pointing to my torn jeans and rock T-shirt.

"I thought so. Here let me see what I have."

"Just make sure it's long-sleeved," I say faster than I inteneded to.

"Ok," she says, "Aha! This is cute." She pulled out a black, long-sleeved, V-cut shirt with dark blue jeans. "Put these on and then come out," she says handing the outfit to me.

I'm glad she's left the room. I didn't want her to see my black and blue arms. I was so ashamed of them, but the funny part is that I had nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't my fault. By far was it my fault.

I finshed putting on the clothes she had let me borrow and I walked out of her room.

"Fabulous!" Lily yelled, "Wouldn't you agree, Lucas?"

"Yeah," Lucas said looking at me as if he was in disbelief that it was really me, "Peyton you look amazing."

"Thanks," I say blushing.

"We have to get going. See you later mom. Bye Lily."

"Bye Mrs. Roe. Bye Lily. Thanks again!" I say as I follow Lucas out the door.

"Anytime!" Lily yells back at me.

When we arrive at the party, I start to have second thoughts.

"Lucas, I think this was a bad idea," I say nervously.

"What are you talking about? You look great. Just give it a chance and if you really aren't having any fun, I promise we'll leave."

"Ok," I reply reassured by his words.

We walk inside and just like school everybody's eyes are on us. I hear everyone whispering things like "Is that Peyton Sawyer?" or "What is she doing here?" and "What does Lucas see in her." I turn to Lucas who doesn't mind all the staring. Why the hell didn't it bother him that people thought he was stupid for hanging around with me?

I need to go somewhere. Anywhere away from these people.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, ok?" I tell Lucas.

"Yeah, I'll be here."

I walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me. I lean my head against the door and close my eyes. I knew this was stupid of me to come. Why couldn't I have just told him I couldn't go out? I was so foolish to think that this night might not be that bad. I needed to tell Lucas that I wanted to leave. I can't take the staring, the whispers, the giggles. I can't take any of it anymore.

I run out of the bathroom to go find Lucas. I stop when I see him talking to Brooke. I listen to the conversation.

"So, what's the deal with you hanging around with Peyton?" Brooke asks him.

"Why do you need a reason?" Lucas ask.

"Well, let's just say that if you want friends in this school, then Peyton Sawyer isn't exactly the girl you want to be friends with."

"Why not?"

"Have you seen her? She's gross and dresses like she's going to kill herself."

"So, you judge her by the way she dresses and by the way she looks?" Lucas asks confused.

"No. No just that. Peyton and I used to be friends a long time ago, but then she started turning all weird, so we kind of stopped."

"Brooke, that makes no sense."

"It does to me."

I don't want to hear anymore. I need to get out of here. I need to go somewhere. I push through the crowd of people and run for the door. Suddenly, out of no where, someone trips me. I fall flat on my face on the hard, cold concrete. Everyone starts laughing hysterically like it is the funniest thing they have ever seen. I'm so embarrassed that I don't even want to get up. I don't want to have to see their faces laughing back at me.

I stay on the concrete floor until I feel someone picking me up. I look to see who it is. Lucas. It's Lucas.

"Are you alright?" he asks me as he sets me down on a stool.

"Yeah," I say trying to hold back my tears as I still look around and see people laughing and imitating my fall.

Lucas looks around angrily, almost like he wants to kill every person in the room.

A guy behind me falls on purpose. "Hey, woah! I'm Peyton Sawyer and I'm a freak who is liked by no one," says the guy.

"Shut the hell up!" Lucas yells toward him.

The whole party stops when they hear the harshness in Lucas' voice. Even the music has been halted. Everyone is watching Lucas' anger rise as the guy who was imitating my fall doesn't stop. I watch as Lucas walks over to him and grabs him by his shirt. He slams him into the wall like he weighed less than a feather. I jump at the sight of it.

"I said Shut. The. Hell. Up." Lucas speaks quieter this time. He lets go of the kids shirt and comes back over to me. "Let's get out of here. This party sucks anyway." Lucas grabs my hand, leading me out the door.

Nobody had ever stuck up for me. Normally, people would just look at me and laugh. Sometimes they would even step over me completely ignoring the fact that I was laying on the ground. I was still a little taken aback by Lucas' actions toward that kid. I was pleased with the fact that Lucas had helped me. He truely was an angel from heaven.

"Thanks for doing that for me Lucas," I say as we enter his car.

"That's what I'm here for," Lucas says smirking at me. "You want me to take you home now?"

I don't want to go home, at least not yet. "Nah. Let's get some pizza or something. It's only 10:30."

"Alright, but I don't know where anything is," he says as he starts the car.

"Go down this street, make a left at your first turn, and then follow that road until we reach Connie's Pizza."

"Gotcha."

We drive in pure silence. I don't know what to say, especially since my mind is still on the events that happened at the party. I just can't get over the fact that Lucas barely knows me but is already changing my life in so many ways.

"Is this it?" He says pulling into the pizza parlor.

"Obviously," I say pointing to the sign that says Connie's Pizza.

He shakes his head and laughs.

We get inside, order our pizza, and sit in one of the booths.

"Lucas, this really means a lot to me."

"What does?"

"Having your friendship. Knowing a guy like you. Knowing that not everyone is the same."

A small smile tugs from his lips. "When I first saw you, there was something that had drawn me to you. Like a magnet or something. You seemed mysterious, ya know? Full of secrets."

He's right. I am full of secrets. Secrets that can't be shared. Secrets that are meant for me know and for him to probably never find out.

We finish eating our pizza, and Lucas drives me home.

"Thanks for going with me to the party tonight, Peyton. I'm really sorry that you didn't have a good time."

"It's ok Lucas. I'm glad you wanted me to go with you. Tell your sister thanks for doing my makeup and letting me wear her clothes."

"I will."

I step out of the car, but before closing the door I say, "Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything."

He simply nods his head before he pulls away from my house.

Lucas may not realize it, but he's done more for me in a few days than anyone ever has.

I start to walk up to my house hoping that my parents are sleeping or doped up. I open the front door cautiously. I look inside and see that my mother is knocked out, most likely from the drugs. Oh god. Where's my Dad?

I turn my head to find him staring at me.

"Where the hell were you?" He asks slurring his words.

"Out," is all I say.

"Out? With who? You don't have friends. Who the hell would want to hang out with you?" he says laughing.

"Actually, I do have a friend," I say defending myself.

Bad move.

"What did you just say?" he asks preteneding like he heard me incorrectly.

"I'm sor-" He cuts my apology off when he grabs me by the back of my hair and smashes my face against the wall. I cringe when I feel my nose tingle with pain.

"Don't. You. Ever. Talk. To. Me. Like. That. Ever. Again," my father says. With each word he speaks he crashes my face into the wall a little harder than the time before.

The pain is too much to take. "Stop!" I beg. "Please!" He stops, but the beating isn't over yet. He turns me around and instead of slapping me, he punches me straight in the jaw.

I close my eyes as tight as I can, praying that he will stop. He drags me into the kitchen and throws a rag and a soap bottle at me.

"Go clean the blood off of the wall!" he yells.

I obey him. I wet the wash cloth and pour soap onto it. I rub the spot where my face was once being banged against. I feel blood gushing out of my nose. The pain is unbearable. I try to ignore it. I try my hardest, but I can't. It hurts too bad.

I finish wiping the wall, and then I throw out the rag. I wait for my father to tell me what to do next, blood still pouring out of my nose.

"Get out of my face," he says as he take a sip of his beer.

When I reach my room, I look at myself in the mirror and see fresh cuts. I'm surprised he didn't kill me with those blows to the wall. I have to stop the bleeding in my nose so I pinch my nose shut and lean my head forward. After a while, the bleeding finally stops. I then tend to the wounds on my forehead. I get out gauze pads and place them on my head.

I didn't go to sleep that night because I was afraid that I wouldn't wake up. Going to sleep when you have trauma to your head isn't really that smart.

I lost that battle, but I'll be damned if I lose another one.

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	4. Caught

**A/N: All I can say is Wow! I love reading all of your reviews. Thank you all so much for being so kind. Special thanks to**** RilesVaughn24 for leaving me extremely long reviews on this story and Southern Summer Love. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 4- Caught**

It's morning, finally. I didn't go to sleep last night so I sat in my bed rocking back and forth trying to hold in tears. Tears of pain, tears of sorrow, tears of hurt, tears of lonliness.

I know I needed to do something about it, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure if people would think I was a bad person for throwing my father in jail, especially my mother. Even though they fought almost everyday, I knew she loved him and for me to take him away from her wouldn't be right. I couldn't bring my self to doing it. You wouldn't understand what I mean, and I don't expect you to.

I didn't want to go to out of my house today. I didn't want to have to face the laughter, the mumbling, the pointing, the teasing, the taunting, and what ever else would probably come with it. All I wanted was to stay in my room and hide, mainly from my Dad. I picked up my sketchbook that lay beside my bed, and I began to draw. It was the only thing that would calm me down. Well, that and music.

As I was drawing, I heard dishes being thrown and my parents screaming at the top of their lungs. Why now? Why did it have to be this way? Why to me? I close my eys as tight as I can praying that it will all be over soon. I raise my hands to my ears trying to drown out their screams. Nothing works. I can't stop the fighting from being heard. Oh, Dear God. Make them stop! Just please make the stop!

Without realizing it, I begin to cry. The salt from my tears trickles down my face burning my scrapes and cuts. I can't even cry because there's pain in my tears too. Physically and emotionally.

The loud noises stop. Silence. Thank God. I get off my bed and put my ear to the door to see if my ears are playing tricks on me. They're not.

I go into the bathroom to stare at my reflection. That's not me. It can' t be me, but it is. It's a girl who experiences pain everyday. It's a girl who has secrets that are buried too deep to give away. It's a girl who's tired of it all. It's a girl who just wants it to stop. It's me.

My head jolts to my bedroom door when I hear someone coming up the stairs. My chest suddenly feels like it is going to explode as I hear the footsteps coming closer to my room. No, please. Not now.

I hear my father slapping on my door with his fist.

"Open up, Peyton!"

I stay where I am. I don't want to, but I know that I have to open it. I walk over to the pounding on the door and open it slowly.

Smack! He slaps me right across the face and pushes me out of his way as he enters my room.

"What is this shit?" he asks me pointing to my sketches that I have on my walls.

"My art," I reply still standing by the door.

"Art? You call this art?" he says as he begins to tear them off the walls.

"Stop it!" I yell, not even thinking why I said that.

He stops and looks at me with fire in his eyes. He grabs my sketchbook in his hand and sprints toward me. He grips the back of my arm, and leads me down the stairs.

" Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that? How about I teach you some manners? " he says looking back at me as he continues to drag me.

I don't say anything. I don't apologize. I have nothing to be sorry about.

He takes me to the fireplace. "Tear those up and throw them in there!" he yells in my face.

I figured out what he's trying to do. He wants to hurt me both emotionally and physically.

As I open my sketchbook, someone knocks at the front door. Saved by the bell.

My father looks at me and then back at the door.

"Go answer that!" he says.

I get up to go to the door and look back at my father who is going into the kitchen. Probably to get a beer or something.

I open the door and there stand Lucas. He doesn't say anything. He stand there and looks at me with fear in his eyes, like he saw a ghost. I know what he's thinking. I know he sees my face and my arms covered with bruises, scars, cuts, scrapes, and bandages. He looks like he's searching for words to say, but he can't seem to find them. Lucas is speechless. I'm so embarrassed, so humiliated, so ashamed.

I watch his gaze go from me to something behind me. I turn my head to see what he's looking at. My father. He looks back at me and then back at him several times.

"Peyton, who the hell is at the door?" my dad asks.

"It's um just a friend from school," I say avoiding Lucas' eyes.

I know he hears the fear in my voice and sees the terror in my eyes. Lucas just keeps looking at me, like he's trying to register what exactly is happening.

"I was umm...I was...I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today?" Lucas says, his voice breaking after several words.

I nod my head as I look behind me to see if my father is watching us. He isn't so I close the door slowly behind me and grab Lucas' arm pulling him away from my house. I jump into his car quickly with him following close behind.

When we get in the car, he doesn't start the car right away.

"Drive!" I yell.

He listens to me and instantly presses on the gas. We drive in silence. I'm not sure where he is taking me, but we enter an abandoned parking lot. Lucas stops the car and once again, stares at me.

I'm not looking at him, but I can feel him studying me closely. It's making me very nervous.

"Peyton? What happened to you?" Lucas asks sounding fearful of what my answer might be.

I sit in the passenger seat debating on what to say. Do I lie? Do I tell him? Do I just walk out of the car and leave?

"Come on, Peyton. What happened?" he asks again.

"It's nothing," I say still avoiding looking at him.

"How can you say that it's nothing? Do you see yourself right now? You're covered with bruises from head to toe."

The sound of his voice says that he's concerned, but I'm still pushing him away. I don't want to tell him, but at the same time I do.

"I can't tell you Lucas. I'm sorry."

He doesn't push for an answer anymore. He simply nods his head and says, "Ok."

Out of no where, my emotions start to get the best of me and I start to sob. I cry into my hands as hard as I can. Lucas looks over at me and takes me into his arms. He hugs me tightly as I take my hands away from my face and cry into his jacket. He rubs my back and tells me that it's going to be ok. I'm squeezing him as tight as I can as I continue to weep.

When I finsh crying, I still don't want to let go of him. His arms are still locked around me as if I was going to run away.

"Do you want to go back to my house so we can clean your face up?" he asks me.

I hesitate because I was afraid his sister or mother would be home.

"My mom and Lily aren't there. Don't worry."

I nod in agreement as I pull away from his embrace.

He smiles at me. "It's going to be ok."

We arrive at Lucas' house, and Lucas wraps his arm around my shoulder. He takes me into the bathroom and gets out a first aid kit. Lucas takes my old bandages off and sprays a disinfectant on my wounds. I flinch a little from the stinging.

"Sorry," he says.

"It's ok."

He places fresh gauze pads on my wounds and wraps tape around it.

"Thank you, Lucas," I say.

"Your welcome," he whispers.

Lucas was so caring and gentle. I loved that he was the one to take care of me. He was a wonderful person who I couldn't understand why he was the way he was. He could be friends with anyone he wanted because he automatically fit in. He chose me.

"I don't want to go home, Lucas," I say still overwhelmed with him seeing me like this.

"I know," he says as he looks deep into my eyes.

Lucas sees me. He sees me in a way that other people don't. He understands my agony and suffering. It was time. I needed to tell someone.

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "He beats me."

He looks at me with seriousness. "What? Who?"

I know he knows who I'm talking about. He just wants to be sure. "My Dad."

He doesn't know what to say so I continue.

"I make up excuses for him, ya know? So they don't put him in jail. I load on cover up and conceler to hide his marks. These aren't mine," I say pointing to the bruises on my face, "They're his." I take another deep breah before I continue. "My parents are alcoholics and drug-addicts. They smoke and drink until they pass out. My mom knows my Dad does this to me, but she ignores it. She doesn't want to have to deal with it."

His face is pale, white as a ghost. "How-How long has this been happening?" he asks.

"Since I was little. Probably around 5 years old. That's when everything went downhill. My parents were fighting non-stop, so they both turned to drugs and alcohol. They're stoned or drunk everyday. That's when I learned that I needed to take care of myself. Pretty messed up, huh? A five year old having to take care of herself. Anyway, they would fight and my dad would be so angry that he would take it out on me. Any little thing I did wrong he would turn it into something huge. Say if I left a toy on the ground, he would throw it at me and then slap me. Then, he would hit me for no reason at all. It was like a daily routine and I couldn't stop it. He was out of control. My mom would stick up for me the first few times, but after that she just let him. She let him hit me no matter how long I begged him to stop. If I told him he was hurting me, he'd hit me even harder. It was like my cries for help were encouraging him to beat me faster and harder. He would hurt me in any way possible. Mostly physically, but sometimes emotionally. Like today, before you came, he wanted me to tear up my artwork which is the only thing I have to be proud of. And he wanted to get rid of it." I stopped when I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

He brought his hand to my face and brushed it away as I continued. "My life is crazy. I live with two psycho paths. People at school hate me because I'm not like everyone else. It's not fair. I have no one."

"You have me," Lucas says leaning down to embrace me once again.

"Thank you, Lucas," I whisper.

" Your welcome. Thank you for letting me in," Lucas says into my ear.

I nod my head and close my eyes. I have someone. I have Lucas.

I never wanted to go back home. Ever.

**Tell me what you think!**


	5. Truth Comes Out

**A/N: Once again, thank you all so much for the great reviews. You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you guys are enjoying this story. This chapter is kind of an emotional one for Peyton. Can't wait to see what you guys think! Oh! By the way, I might not be able to update this one tomorrow for all of you because I have a party to go to. I'm really sorry. I've been trying to update my stories at least once a day for all of you. I'll try really hard to get to it!**

**xoxox**

**Gianna**

**Chapter 5- Truth comes out**

The next morning, I woke up in a bedroom that was surely not mine. I looked around the room and saw blue walls with posters of the Honorary Title. Where the hell was I? I stepped out of the bed slowly and peeked my head out of the door. Still, I wasn't sure of my surroundings. I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen where Lucas' mom was cooking breakfast; eggs, toast, sausage, bacon, pancakes, waffles, french toast, biscuits, various types of fruit. I must have stayed at Lucas' house last night.

"Oh, good morning dear," Ms. Roe says smiling at me.

"Hi," I say wondering where Lucas is.

"I wasn't sure what you would like for breakfast so I made you some of every type of breakfast food I had."

What an amazing woman. She had a warmheart and a compassionate smile. Everything about her was welcoming.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," I whisper.

"Your welcome," she says handing me two plates with mountains of food on them.

While I ate my food, Ms. Roe was watching me carefully. I didn't want to look up and meet her gaze so I kept my eyes on my food. I knew she was looking at all the black and blue marks that were in fully exposed.

"Would you like some orange juice?" she says breaking the silence.

"Yes. Thanks."

"Mmhmm," she responds while pouring the juice into a cup.

"So Lucas tells me that you are an artist. Is their anything specific that you draw?" she asks.

"Umm, I really don't draw anything specific."

"I see."

I finish the rest of my breakfast in stillness because I wonder what my parents are thinking right now. My mother probably doesn't notice I'm gone, but my father will after he's finished battling with her.

"Where's Lucas?" I ask.

She turns away from the kitchen sink to look at me. "He's running some errands," she says.

"Oh," I say nodding my head. There's another awkward silence between us. "I appreciate what you're doing, but I think I should get going now."

I know that I have to go home, no matter how much I don't want to.

"No!" she yells loudly. "I mean no. That's not necessary. You should stay."

I begin to understand why she all of the sudden doesn't want me to leave. She knows.

"Lucas told you?" I ask.

She takes a deep breath before answering. "Bits and pieces, yes. Not everything," she says, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I watch as she comes and sits next to me. I swallow the hard lump in my throat.

"It's ok, if you don't want to. I mean you barely know me so-"

"No. It's fine. I want to."

I decide to tell her the WHOLE story that Lucas doesn't know. She was a mother, so maybe she'd understand better.

"It started when I was around five years old. Before that, my family never acted this way. My mother was a kind woman who would take me to the park and my father was a hard working business man. He loved his job more than anything in the world. Then, he came home and told my mom that he had gotten laid off from work. It started as a civilized conversation between two married people, but then they started screaming at eachother. I was in my room, and I ran down the stairs to hear what was happening, and my Dad almost tripped over one of my toys. He picked up the toy and threw it as hard as he could at me. He grabbed me by my wrists and started to shake me while yelling 'Don't you know you're not supposed to leave toys around?!' My mother tried to pull him away from me, but she couldn't. Out of nowhere, he slapped me with the back of his hand. I didn't cry though. I was just...shocked and petrified. Once my Dad turned to drugs and alcohol for comfort, so did my mom. I had to eventually learn how to take care of myself."

I stopped talking to look at Ms. Roe who was already in tears. She put her right hand on my back and soothed me, so I continued.

"After that day, things just turned so bad. I started losing my friends and my father would hit me at least once a day, and I just let him. I couldn't stop him even if I wanted to so I learned to just take the beatings. He would yell and scream in my face. The smell of alcohol was always in his breath. His eyes would be blood shot and his speech would be slurred. Both of my parents were always either stoned or drunk."

"Oh honey," she cried while she continued to rub my back.

"I can't go back there. I just can't," I say.

"You don't have to. We can go to the police and-"

I cut her off. "No! We can't do that!" I ran my hands nervously through my hair and got up to start pacing. "I shouldn't have said anything. Oh God. My father's going to kill me if they throw him in jail."

"Peyton, he's hurting you. That's where he deserved to be," she says.

"No. I can't put him in jail. You don't understand."

"Well, then help me to because the way I see it is that your father takes his stress and anger out on you for no reason at all."

"He just can't go to jail!" I yell.

She stops and looks at me. I'm in tears mostly because if they send him to jail, I know he'll find a way out. He always manages to get out of situations like that.

"Ok," she says forfeiting.

Just then Lily walks into the kitchen. I look over at her, and she looks confused. I watch as she looks at her mom and then back at me. It's obvious that she has no clue what is going on.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" Lily asks.

I shake my head as I fall to my knees. I cry into my hands when both of them run over and embrace me into the arms. Both of their holds on me is very loose almost as if they think I'm going to break.

I see Lily look over at her mom while mouthing the words what happened? Ms. Roe just shakes her head.

"Peyton, we won't say anything for now, but if you don't do something about this soon, then things are going to get worse. Do you understand me?" she asks.

I look into her eyes and I see fear. She's very worried about me, and I start to feel awful for making her so concerned.

I nod my head in agreement.

"You can stay here with us," Lily says even though she still doesn't know what's happening.

"Thank you," I say as I rub my tears away with my sleeve.

"Your welcome," Ms. Roe says

"I need to go and get some of my stuff from my house," I mumble.

"What? You can't go back there," Ms. Roe says turning my face to look at her.

"I just need a few things and then I'll be back."

Lucas walks into the kitchen to find Lily, Ms. Roe, and me kneeling on the floor. He sighs looking at us.

I get up from where I am kneeling, run to Lucas, and hug him tightly. It's my way of saying thank you. He holds me just as tight while rubbing my tense back.

"You okay?" he asks.

I nod while sniffling.

"Peyton, if you go back to your house, then we are coming with you," Mrs. Roe says.

"That will just make things worse," I say.

"Wait! Why are you going back there?" Lucas asks looking completely shocked.

"I'm not. I just need to get a few things. Your mom said I could stay here for a while."

Lucas nods his head. "I'll drive you."

When we start to walk toward the front door, Lucas' mom stops us.

"Peyton!"

"Yeah?"

"Just be careful," she says.

I walk over to her and embrace her like I've known her my whole life.

"I will."

Lucas and I drive in pure silence. I know he doesn't want to talk because he's afraid he'll say the wrong thing.

After a five minute drive, we arrive at my house. Lucas turns to me. "Do you want me to go in with you?" he asks.

"No. I'll only be a minute. Just stay here," I say while I unbuckle my seat belt.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be ok."

"Alright, just hurry up."

I open the car door and walk slowly up the path. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and my legs were weak. I look back at Lucas before I open the front door. He nods his head and I nod back. I take a deep breath before I step inside. Normally, I would look to see where my parents were, but there wasn't time for that so I ran straight for the stairs. I walked up quietly and went straight into my room.

There, I found my things thrown everywhere. My drawing were torn into little pieces, my CD's were smashed, me bed looked like someone threw it from the top of the Eiffel Tower, and my clothes were thrown out of my closet. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Everything that was mine was now gone all because my father is crazy. I turned around when I decided that there wasn't anything here for me anymore. To my surprise, there he was standing less than four inches in front of me.

"You weren't planning on leaving, were you?" he asks when he grabs the bag from my hands.

"I'm not staying here anymore," I say nervously trying to sound confident.

"Wrong!"

"Right!" I yell back.

I try to walk out my door when he grabs a fistful of my hair.

"Dad stop! Let go!" I scream trying to defend myself.

"You were going to try and throw me in jail were ya?" he says.

He took me by my throat and slammed me onto the floor. I felt my head hit the corner of the bed as I went down. I tried to curl into a ball and rest my hands on my head, but he woudln't let me. He bent down and punched me three times, each time a little harder than the time before. I could taste the blood on my lips, and I could feel it seeping from my nose. I pleaded for him to stop, but he ignored my cries for help. He picked me up off the floor and threw me against the wall. I tried to get up and run, but I only got to the stairs. I tripped over the carpet and landed on my stomach. I couldn't get up. He took this time to kick me in the stomach. I closed my eyes tightly when suddenly I heard the front door open.

I knew it had to be Lucas.

My father then pushed me down the stairs as hard as he could. I saw Lucas running toward the stairs while yelling my name when I went tumbling down, but unexpectedly everything turned black.

**I wondered what might have happened. ;P**

**Please Review!**


	6. Welcome Back

**A/N: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! x10000000 for the terrific reviews! Once again, I'm really sorry about not updating this yesterday! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Review when you are finished reading!**

**xoxoxo**

**Gianna**

**Chapter 6- Welcome Back**

I was laying on an extremely uncomfortable matress with my eyes closed. My head was pounding with pain. I tried to lift my hand, but it felt as though it didn't belong to me. My throat was disgustingly dry due to a tube that was down my throat. Slowly, I opened my eyes to be blinded by the whiteness of the room. I immediately shut them again. Where in the world was I? My eyes opened sluggishly again, being more cautious of the brightness. The room had the pungent smell of disinfectant, disease, medicine, and sickness. I looked around to notice a machine beeping steadily beside me. I felt like I had been hit by a bus.

There were all these wires and machines hooked up to me. I felt my head to feel the white bandages wrapped around me tightly. It was definately a hospital. I tried to move a little to get a better view of the room, but my back seared with pain so I had to immediately remain in this pitiful positionI was stuck in. The pillow I was laying on was flattened while the bed was really hard due to the fact that it was used by many people. Why was I here? What happened to me? What's going on?

My fears started to slip away when I looked to my left to find a sleeping Lucas. He was sleeping with his head rested on the side of my bed. The position he was in looked awfully uncomfortable. I raised my heavy hand to rub his face with. He stirred a little before he eventually woke up. He looked at me as if I was the greatest thing in the entire world.

"Your awake!" he yelled.

I shook at the loud noises. I didn't realize my ears were so sensitive.

"I am so sorry!" he whispered as he apologized for yelling so loudly.

"It's ok," I said wondering if he could even hear my quiet voice.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Like someone hit me with a cement truck," I say with a gently smile.

"Wait here! I'm going to get the doctor." Where was I going to go? I could barely move. He seemed so worried all of the sudden.

From my bed, I heard him yell ''She's awake!" There were so many footsteps running to where I was.

Just then, Karen, Lily, Lucas, and a man dressed in a long white jacket were coming into my room. He must have been the doctor. Maybe now, hopefully, I could get some answers.

"Peyton! You're awake!" Karen said while her eyes became watery. She walked over to me and hugged me lightly, along with Lily.

"Hello, Peyton. My name is Doctor Curnan," he said introducing himself.

"Hi," I said monotonously.

"You gave us quite a scare there, but we knew you'd pull through," Dr. Curnan said giving me a side smile.

"Pull through what? Why am I here? What happened to me? What's going on?" I ask suddenly having more questions than I thought.

"Ms. Sawyer you've been in a coma for the past three months."

"What?" I say in disbelief. Three months? He can't be serious.

"You had trauma and bleeding that was affecting your brain. The swelling kept you in this state for a while."

I don't say anything because I'm trying register everything he's telling me.

"You also had direct blows to the ribs which broke some of your ribs and bruised your rib cartilage. They are still healing which is why you might be having a little bit of hard time taking deep breaths. I'm afraid you have some minor brain damage too."

"Are you serious? How do you know?" I ask. This can't be happening to me. This has to be a bad dream. I look over at Lucas, Lily, and Karen who are all listening intently to Doctor Curnan.

"A neurologist checked for brain damage using MRI scans. They also looked for irregularities in the brain and found some. We had to insure that you got the proper supply of oxygen to the brain and the rest of the body while maintaining adequate blood flow and controlling blood pressure. Imaging Tests were done to help determine the diagnosis and prognosis of your condition. Some X-rays were also done to check for bone fractures." He pauses before continuing. "I know this is all hard to understand right now, but the important thing is that you're ok."

Before I could respond, we were interrupted when a voice came on the loud speaker

_"Doctor Curnan, you're needed immediately in the Emergency section of the hospital."_

"I'm sorry, but I have to go for now. I'll be able to answer any questions you might have later," Dr. Curnan said as he left the room.

"Oh, Peyton we're so happy you're awake," Lily says with a grin from ear to ear.

"Why can't I remember why I'm here? What happened?" I ask.

Lucas took a deep breath before speaking. "Your father hurt you again."

I think back as far as I can. The details of the beating are vague, but I remember bits and pieces of it.

"And how did I get here? Where's my father? What about my mother? Where are they?"

Lucas begins to tell me the story of what exactly happened.

"When you weren't coming back to the car, I got worried so I let myself inside. I saw you're mom laying on the floor, but I didn't stop because I heard you screaming. When I got to where you were, your father pushed you down the stairs. He knocked you out..."

_Flashback_

_"What the hell did you do to her you son of a bitch!?" Lucas yelled as he ran over to me. "Peyton! Come on Peyton! Wake up! Open your eyes!" Lucas said while shaking me fiercly. _

_"Get away from her! This is family business! Get the hell out of my house!" my father yelled._

_Lucas became angered as my father tried to pull me away from him. "DO NOT TOUCH HER!"he screamed._

_"I'll touch her anyway I want now get the hell out!" my father screamed as he started to shove Lucas._

_Lucas didn't shove back. Instead he just punched him straight in the jaw, knocking him against the stairwell. He took this time to pick me up and bring me to his car._

_"It's ok, Peyton! You're going to be ok. We're going to the hospital now," Lucas says to my lifeless body while putting me in his car._

_He quickly drives me to the hospital and enters the emergency entrance._

_"Help! Somebody please!" he yelled._

_"What happened?" one of the doctors asked while he was running to take me from Lucas' arms._

_"Her father hurt her. He...he beats her, and she's not waking up. You gotta help her!" Lucas frantically says._

_"How long has she been unconscious?" the doctor asked while attempting to take my pulse._

_"Umm, I...about 10 minutes. Maybe 15," Lucas said running his hands nervously through his hair._

_"We need to get her into surgery immediately," the doctor said while Lucas started to follow. You need to wait here. She'll be alright. Just stay."_

_"Ok."_

_Lucas picked up his phone and dialed his mom's number._

_"Mom? It's me...No...We're at the hospital...It's all my fault...I should have went inside with her...Ok.. Hurry up! Bye."_

_End of Flashback_

"So you've been in a coma for the past three months," Lucas said finishing his story.

"And what about my parents?" I ask really not wanting to hear the answer.

Lucas looked at his mom and then back at me, as if asking her for permission to tell me something.

"You're mother died of an overdose of heroin, and you're father's in custody. There's a trial hearing for him in two months," Lucas says while taking my hand in his.

I don't cry. I'm somewhat relieved, like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. A weight that was dragging me down. A weight that kept me from fulfilling my needs and wants. A weight that is now gone. I hope that doesn't sound completely horrible of me to say, but it's the truth. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. My parents didn't love me. They couldn't love me. Drinking, doing drugs, and sometimes eachother was their main priority and their love. I think it would be the same way with or with out them, except the beatings of course.

"It's ok," I say, "It's ok. I'll be fine. I didn't need them anyway."

"You're strong, Peyton. You're not just a survivor. You're a warrior," Lily says to me.

"Thank you. All of you. For being here with me. For staying with me this whole time. I probably wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you guys." I shifted my body slowly to look at Lucas. "I'm glad I met you, Lucas. You've changed my life so much, in ways I never thought possible."

"I'm glad I met you too, Peyton." He smiles at me.

My mind starts to wander to different places, when I eventually remember school. "Oh my God! How far behind am I in school?" I ask realizing that I've missed three months of my education.

"Don't worry about it. Your teachers are going to excuse you from doing it and, you'll just have to stay after school for a while so they can teach you everything that you missed," Lucas says reassuring me.

"Lily and I are going to go downstairs and get some coffee. Do you two want anything?" Mrs. Roe asks Lucas and I.

"I'm ok," Lucas says. "How about you?"

"No, thanks. The last thing on my mind is food," I say pointing to the tube down my throat.

They both laugh and walk out the door.

"Does anyone know about this?" I ask Lucas while pointing to me.

"About what?"

"About my father hurting me."

"Some people. Not really," he stops. "Yeah, pretty much everyone."

"Great," I say sarcastically.

"You know, school hasn't been the same with out you. I miss you when I'm there which is why the highlight of my day is when I get to come see you. Now, it's even better because you're awake and can actually respond when I talk to you."

I smile slightly. "It's weird."

"What is?" he asks.

"It felt like I was asleep for probably two or three hours tops, and then I wake up and it's three months later. It just doesn't feel like it."

"That is pretty weird," he says thinking about it.

"I'm already sick of this hospita, and I've been awake for only an hour."

"How do you think I feel? I've been basically living here for the past three months," he says in a whining voice.

"Thanks for staying with me," I say quietly.

"Yeah, anytime. The doctor said you could wake up at any time and I really wanted to be there when you opened your eyes."

"I'm glad you were."

"Me too," he says taking my hand.

"What's going to happen at my Dad's trial?" I ask.

"I would assume that they want you to make a statement," he replys. "They already took pictures of your scars and bruises and everything else, so there is no way that he's not going to be in jail for a long time."

"I hope he get's a death sentence," I say avoiding Lucas' eyes. "Do you think that's wrong for me to say, especially since he's my father?"

"Not at all. They would be doing him a favor if they sentenced him to death because his pain would be over soon while yours will always be with you. So, honestly, I hope he rots in jail," Lucas says more serious than ever.

"When's the trial again?" I ask.

"Like two months, why?" he asks.

"I'm just nervous. I really don't want to see him."

"I know, but think of how happy you'll be once he's gone and put in jail for good."

"I guess you're right."

"You're a brave person, Peytonand you are stronger than anyone I know. You have more courage than any woman could ever have."

"Thanks, Luke."

Lucas always seemed to know the right thing to say.

**A/N: Just so everyone knows, I am not a doctor. Some of the medical terms could be incorrect. Reviews are appreciated!**


	7. Darkness

**A/N: Thanks for the great reviews everyone! Here's chapter seven of Judgemental!**

**Oh by the way, thank you jesterlady for telling me that my writing matters! I thought that was really sweet!**

**xoxox**

**Gianna**

**Chapter 7- Darkness**

I woke up in the hospital today with a headache again which was no surprise. I've been having massive headaches lately, but Dr. Curnan said that it was normal for me. I look to my left to find a nurse wrapping a black thing around my arm. Couldn't she have at least waited until I actually woke up? I got so much sleep, but I always felt like I was going to pass out. The pain from my injuries has gone away somewhat, but it is definately still there.

"Good morning, dear. I'm just going to take your blood pressure. It's for the doctor's records," the nurse says with a smile.

"Oh, ok," I say raising my arm a little.

"110," the nurse says while grabbing her clip board and writing down the number.

"Is that good?" I ask.

"Yes, that's normal. It's improved greatly since your coma. The doctor will be in soon."

"Alright," I say nodding.

I look over to my left and see the clock. 11:57. Lucas is in school right now while Karen and Lily are working. Everyday, for last week, Lucas has been leaving school at lunch time to come eat with me. We would talk about basically nothing, but to me it meant everything. He'd be arriving in about ten minutes.

Doctor Curnan walked in. "Hi, Peyton. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm better. Still a little weak but better," I say.

"Well, the good news is you'll get to leave this weekend," he says while checking my heartbeat with a stethoscope.

"Thank God," I say, "Wait. That came out rude. It's just I'm-"

He stops me. "Peyton, it's ok. I'm pretty sure everyone in this hospital can't wait to go home."

I smile a little.

"Ok, everything is looking good so far. How are your ribs feeling?" he asks.

"Umm, well I don't have to take such deep breaths as much as i used to."

"That's good. They should be fully healed in a few days. I'll come back in a few hours to check on you," Dr. Curnan says.

"Ok," I say.

Just then, Lucas walks through the door.

"Good afternoon, Lucas," Dr. Curnan says while walking out the door.

Lucas nods his head toward him.

"Hey you," he says while reaching down to hug me.

"Hi," I say.

"How you feeling today?" he asks while rubbing his hand lightly across the bandage on my forehead.

"I'm ok."

"That's good."

"The doctor said that I could come home this weekend," I say.

"Peyton, that's great!" he says excitedly.

"Kind of. But the thing is, where exactly is my home? Now that my parents are gone, I really don't have one."

"Didn't my mom tell you?" he asks.

"Tell me what?"

"You're going to be staying with us for a while," Lucas says.

"Oh. I saw her this morning, but she never mentioned it."

"Well, now you know."

"Thanks, Luke."

"Anytime."

That Sunday I finally got to leave that horrific hospital. I was getting so sick of being there. When I arrived at Lucas' house, there was a 'We missed you' sign in the kitchen along with some balloons and confetti. It was good to know that people cared about you. Lily showed me a spare bedroom where I would be sleeping. It looked almost identical to my room. It had red walls with records organized on shelves and there were some of my drawings hanging on the walls.

"Where did you get those? I thought my father ripped them all up," I say with tears in my eyes.

"They were in your sketchbook. We wanted to make sure you felt extremely comfortable here," Lily said putting her arm around my shoulder.

"Thank you so much," I say hugging her.

"Your welcome, Peyton. Why don't you get some rest while I put the rest of your stuff away," Lily says.

"I'm really not that tired. All I did was sleep in the hospital."

"Oh ok."

"I can help you if you want?"

"Yeah. Yeah sure."

I open up one of the bags and notice that I have never seen these clothes before. I liked them a lot, but they weren't mine.

"Lily, I think we might have grabbed the wrong bag. None of these clothes are mine," I say pulling out one of the shirts.

"Oh, my mom and I went shopping and got you some new clothes. I hope you don't mind," Lily says smiling.

I look at the clothes and then back at Lily. Everyone there made me feel so loved and wanted.

"How did you know the type of clothes I wore?" I ask.

"When I did your make up for you, that kind of gave it away."

"Thank you so much. This means a lot."

It really did mean a lot to me. Everything that they were doing for me seemed too good to be true. But it wasn't. There really are kind people in the world. I just never knew it. The way I grew up it seemed that happiness was a lie. That there was no such thing as love, kindness, generosity, or any other good feelings. Now, I know that feeling was not true. People aren't always bad. I now believe that everyone is good at heart, but they can sometimes give into evil.

Lily and I finished rearranging everything in _my_ room. She made me laugh when she would tell stupid jokes. Lily was an extremely outgoing person who I could tell was well-liked by everyone. She was fun to be around, and she never judged me. She looks deep inside of people and doesn't see what is on the outside. She she's what's on the inside of everyone. Lily gave me tips on being confident. She told me to always stand my ground and to hold my head high when things got tough. I looked up to Lily. She was a great person with an amazing heart. Lily was my role model.

Lucas walked in and found us laughing at pictures of him when he was little.

"Lily! Why are you showing her those?" Lucas asked embarrassed.

"Because they're funny, and I really like embarrassing you," she said looking over at me and smiling.

"You're unbelievable," he said leaning against the door with his arms folded across his chest.

"Aw, come on Lucas. I think you were cute when you were a baby," I said giggling.

"Ha. Ha. Very Funny," he says. "Mom wanted me to tell you guys that dinner's going to be ready in five minutes," Lucas said leaving the room.

I watched as he left and couldn't help but smile.

"Hmm, does somebody have a little crush on Lucas?" Lily says nudging me.

"What? No. We're just friends," I say while my face turns a little red.

"Uh huh, sure," she says sarcastically.

"We are!"

"Fine. Fine. I believe you," she says.

"Dinner's ready!" Karen yells.

"We're coming!" Lily yells back.

We walk into the kitchen and the table is set. I love the idea of sitting down and eating with them.

Throughout dinner, everyone is laughing and sharing stories. I'm so happy to be apart of this. They include me in on every conversation they have. I love being around them and eating dinner with them. These people were my new family.

"Peyton, did the doctor say if you could attend school tomorrow?" Karen asked me.

"Yeah, he said it was a good idea if I started going back so I could catch up on all my missing work."

"Lucas, you better watch her and make sure she takes it easy," Lily says looking at Lucas and then smiling at me.

"I know and I will. You didn't have to tell me that," he says.

That day flew by. I was really enjoying living with them, but I was dreading school. I didn't want to go, but I knew that I had to. I missed three months of it. I mainly just didn't want people staring at me because I still had some bruises and I had white bandages on my face. I also didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. That would aggravate me the most because they ignored me three months ago, but then all of the sudden they want to be my friend. That would make me so angry. The thought of Lucas being there with me was the only thing that settled my mind. He was always sticking up for me and defending me.

I woke up at 7:00 on Monday. I brushed my teeth, changed my bandages, got dressed, and did everything else I needed to do. I was really nervous to get back to normal school.

"Good morning, Peyton," Karen said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, Karen," I said.

She always insisted that I call her Karen because Ms. Roe made her seem old.

"Are you hungry? Would you like some breakfast?" she said.

"No, I'm fine. Is Lucas up yet?"

"Yeah, he should be ready any minute," Karen said.

Lucas walked into the kitchen seconds after she said that.

"Hey, how you feeling?" he asks me.

"Good morning to you too, Luke," Karen says laughing a little.

"Oh sorry Mom," he says looking back at me for an answer.

"I'm ok," I say.

"Good. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let me get my bag."

We drive to school talking and listening to the radio.

"Ready for this?" he asks before we enter school.

"Yes. I'll be fine."

We open the door and immediately all eyes are on us as if we were monkies in the zoo. People began to whisper to eachother about my father beating me, the coma I was in, and my other injuries. I ignore it all and try to not let it bother me.

"You're doing good," Lucas whispers to me.

"Thanks," I say.

I look to my left and see a girl laughing as we walk past. Brooke Davis. Of course. She's still a cold, heartless bitch. I hold my head high just like Lily told me to.

"I can't believe he's still hanging around with her," I hear Brooke whisper to Rachel.

I pretend as if I don't hear them talking because I don't want it to bother me.

Lucas and I walk into first period and once again everyone has looks intensely at us.

"Peyton! Welcome back!" Mrs. Browne yells.

"Hi," I say waving.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm better," I say.

"That's terrific dear. I'm so happy your back in school."

Throughout the day, Lucas and I walked through the halls with every face staring us down. They would look away quickly once we looked at them. There was a lot of gossip going around about why I was in the hospital, but I simply shrugged it off as if it never happened.

At the end of the day, I waited by my locker for Lucas to come.

"So, Peyton is it true that your daddy used to hit you?"

I turn around away from my locker to see Brooke standing there.

"That's none of your business, Brooke," I say defending myself.

"Oh, looks like your daddy knocked some confidence in you," Brooke said stepping closer to me.

"Get the hell away from me," I say glaring at her.

"Or what? You'll call your daddy. Oh wait. That's right. He's in jail," she says which makes some of her friends laugh.

I can't take it anymore. Anger is running through my veins at a high speed. I curl my right hand into a fist and bring it straight to her face. I can't control my anger. I'm still punching her, but I'm crying as I'm doing it. She covers her face when she falls to the ground with me on top of her. At this point, everyone in the hallway is watching us. Tears are rolling quickly down my face. I'm may be swinging at Brooke physically, but I'm also swinging at the pain everyone has caused me throughout my life; my father, my mother, and everyone else in this damn school. I keep hitting her and hitting her until I feel someone pull me away.

"Peyton! Stop!" Lucas yells.

I stop and look at what I've done to Brooke. Her nose was gushing blood while her lip was bleeding. I can see a black and blue bruise starting to form around her cheekbone. I want to run and hide and pretend as if this didn't happen. I'm still crying uncontrollably, and everyone is looking at me in disbelief. No one expected me to even touch Brooke.

"Come on, let's go," Lucas says wrapping his arms around me.

I nod my head as we walk outside and into his car.

"What happened back there?" he asks.

I sigh. "She was just talking about stuff and it made me so...angry. I can't take it anymore."

"Hey. It's ok. Everything's going to get better. I promise," Lucas says reaching over to hug me.

"I hope you're right," I say as I start to cry into his shoulder.

**Review Please!**


	8. Another Day

**A/N: Thank you all so much for reading this story! It means so much to me that you all are enjoying it. A lot of you asked if Peyton and Lucas are going to become more than friends in this story. All I will say is that I am probably the biggest Lucas and Peyton fan ever. That should answer your question. LOL. Anyway, here's chapter eight of Judgemental!**

**xoxox**

**Gianna**

**Chapter 8- Another Day**

The next day, I walked into school with a little more confidence than the day before. I have to admit it felt pretty damn good to punch Brooke Davis, even if that does sound completely horrible of me. I had so much anger and so many emotions bottled up inside, and Brooke made me reach my breaking point. I couldn't hold them in anymore. It was as if the cap to my bottle was ripped off, and everything that I've been feeling was taken out on her. I most certainly did not feel bad about it. At all.

While walking to my locker, you can probably guess what I heard, The usual whispers. I was used to it. They didn't even bother me anymore. Girls all around me were talking about how I kicked Brooke's ass and how they couldn't believe it.

Later that day, I saw her. She had dark bruises around her cheek bone with a butterfly stitch on her eyebrow. I suddenly was having flashbacks of when my Dad hurt me, and I never felt worse. I needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. I couldn't look at her and see what I had done to her. I felt like a monster, almost like I was following in my father's foot steps. I couldn't be him. I wouldn't be him. I can't surrender to darkness and evil. I have to rise above it. I have to get passed it. I have to apologize.

I swallow a lump in my throat and walk over to Brooke. "Hi, Brooke. How you feeling?" I ask.

"You have got to be kidding me. Can I help you with something?" she asked rudely.

"I just wanted to apologize for hurting you yesterday," I say.

"Apology not accepted. You can go now."

I nodded my head and walked away.

"That went well," I said to myself.

Why was I doing this? Why was I apologizing? I wasn't the bad guy. Why did I always make myself the villian when I wasn't? I have to stop doing that. I have to stop trying to always make things right especially when something can't be fixed. It's not fair to me.

At lunch, I went to sit with Lucas just like I did everyday.

"Peyton, what's wrong? You've been quiet this whole day," Lucas asks me.

"I don't know. I guess I just kind of feel bad for hurting Brooke. It's like when I see her, I think of how my Dad used to beat me and I don't want to be like him. I want to be different and not give into temptation," I say.

"Peyton. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault," Lucas says seriously.

"Then why do I feel like it is?"

"Because you make things seem worse than they have to be. You always make yourself the person who should be ashamed, but you shouldn't be."

I take a deep breath. "Why does my life have to be so complicated?"

"Everyone's life is complicated, but it's your job to try and uncomplicate everything. Stop blaming yourself for the bad things that happen."

I nod. "Ok."

Through out the day, I try to take Lucas' advice. Don't take the blame for the bad things in life. I replay the words over and over again in my head so I remember. He was right. Not everything was my fault.

_"Peyton Sawyer please report to the principal's office immediately,"_ the lady on the loud speaker said.

Everyone watched as I got up from my seat in English and walked out the door. I wondered why I was being called down. Had I done anything wrong? I didn't think so. Then I remembered the fight with Brooke. Oh great. Just what I need.

I walked into Principal Turner's office closing the door behind me.

"Ms. Sawyer, have a seat," he said pointing to the chair in front of his desk.

I sit down slowly and look aimlessly around the room.

"I understand that after school yesterday there was a fight yesterday between you and Ms. Brooke Davis. Is that correct?" Principal Turner asks.

"Yes," I whisper.

"And I am told that you were the only one that was using physical violence. Is that also correct?"

I sigh and nod my head. "Yes, sir."

"Ms. Sawyer, you have seen Brooke's face, haven't you?"

"Yes, I've seen it and I tried apologizing," I say avoiding looking at him.

"Look, I know that you're going through a hard time right now and I know how you feel, but-"

"Hard time? Hard Time? Is that what you think I'm going through?" I ask all of the sudden so angry.

"Peyton, stop raising your voice and just-"

"No! You don't even know what I'm going through right now. I was just in the hospital because I was in a coma for three months. And do you know why I was in a coma, Principal Turner? Because my father beat me. Now, my Dad is in jail and my mom is dead because she overdosed on drugs. So don't ever say you know how I feel because you don't! No one does!" I yell as I get up and walk out of the office.

I walk back to English and sit back down next to Lucas. My breathing becomes very heavy because I am on the verge of crying.

Lucas looks over at me and sees my eyes welling with water. "Hey, Peyton. What happened?" he whispers.

I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

He nods his head and continues to pay attention to the lesson Mrs. Browne is giving us. Every few minutes he would look at me to see if I was ok. Lucas was a great friend, and I was lucky to have him.

At the end of the day, Lucas and I drove home. I liked calling Lucas' house my home because it was more of a home than I ever had. When I'm there, I feel safe from harm. It's very honest too. What I mean is you can be yourself, free from all the excess noise, media, and interruption, both literally and metaphorically speaking. Home is where the heart is, and my heart was definately there.

"So what did Principal Turner want?" Lucas asked while we drove from school.

"He just wanted to know about the fight between Brooke and I yesterday," I say looking out the window.

"What did you say?"

"Well, he started telling me that he knew how I felt, and I kind of flipped out on him. Then, I walked out the door before he said anything else."

He nods his head.

We pull into the driveway and walk inside.

"Peyton, can I talk to you for a second?" Karen asks.

"Umm, yeah. Sure. What's up?"

"I got a call from Principal Turner saying that you were an emotional wreck today in his office. He said that you were fighting with Brooke yesterday and that you haven't been yourself lately." She stopped before continuing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I was just in a bad mood, I guess."

"You guess or you know?" she asks.

I inhale then exhale deeply. "Brooke was just saying stuff about my Dad being in jail because he used to beat me, and I just lost it. I started to punch her, and all of the sudden I couldn't stop. It's like something had taken over my body and wanted me to keep hurting her. Lucas finally came and pulled me away from Brooke, but honestly if he hadn't come, she, most likely, would have been in the hospital." Tears begin to fill my eyes. "I don't want to be like him, ya know?"

"I know. Peyton, you are not him. You're nothing like him. You will go places in life unlike him who will be in jail a long time because of his mistakes," Karen says reaching over and wiping the tear away from my cheek.

A few moments later, I walked to the doorway of Lucas' room.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"You can come in if you want," he says motioning for me to sit next to him.

I walk into the room and sit down on the bed next to him. I rest my head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around me.

"Things are going to get better, ok?" he says.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"Well, things always have to get worse before they get better. Take the flu, for example. When you're sick like that you have to get really sick, and then you eventually get better."

I smile a little. "Thanks, Luke."

"Why are you always thanking me for everything I say?" he asks.

"Because you deserve it. You've done so much for me. I don't know what I would do with out you and you're family."

"You'd be fine. You were always strong, Peyton. You just didn't believe it."

"I guess," I say.

He smiles and wraps his arm tighter around my shoulder while kissing the side of my forehead.

The touch of his lips surges through my whole body causing me to tingle inside. I try to brush away the feeling, but it remains.

There was a knock at the door. "Hey, Peyt. How you doing?" Lily asks.

"I'm ok," I say lifting my head up from Lucas' shoulder.

I catch her grinning at me and raising her eyebrow a little.

"I can see that," she says crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah. I guess things have to get worse before they can get better," I say looking up at Lucas. He smirks at me.

"Well, I just wanted to see how you were holding up. By the looks of it, you seem to be good," Lily says leaving the room.

Lucas apparently doesn't understand what she meant by that because his face shows no embarrassment. It's either that or he's ignoring it.

I grab a piece of paper and crayons that were on his nightstand by his bed, and I begin to draw. This time my drawing isn't dark. It shows happiness. It's a rising sun. The sunrise shows beauty, wonder, and hope. It is a reminder of how good it is to be alive. I mix colors of purple, blue, red, pink, and gold to show the dramatic effect of a sunrise. I try to draw the mesmerizing impact on someone a sunrise can have.

I feel Lucas looking over my shoulder. "Wow, Peyton that's beautiful."

I grin at him. "Tell me what you feel when you look at this," I say to him while holding up the picture.

"What do you mean?"

"Just tell me the vibe you get from this drawing."

"I guess I feel calm and still like nothing else is in the world matters," Lucas says shrugging his shoulders.

I'm satisfied with his answer.

I close my eyes and imagine that I am watching a sunrise. It's simple, but still dramatic with the glow of warmth that fills my body. I open my eyes up to find Lucas looking quizzically at me.

I laugh a little and then go back to resting my head on his shoulder. I feel has hand caressing my back.

I am happy with Lucas. My fears slip away whenever he is next to me. I feel like I have something to believe in again whenever I look into his blue eyes.

I can't imagine not knowing Lucas. He's changed my life so much. With out him, I probably wouldn't even be alive.

Lucas was my walking guardian angel. I compare him to this because he influences my life every time I am with him. Every step I take, Lucas' face enters my mind.

Lucas saved me from myself, from my parents, from everyone.

**Please Review!**


	9. Goodbye

**A/N: Hi everybody! I'm so sorry for the wait on this, but I did manage to get an update in today! I'll be updating Southern Summer Love as soon as I get the chance. Anyway, here's chapter nine of Judgemental. I hope you all like this chapter! **

**Oh and don't forget to check out my new story Her and Me.**

**Chapter 9- Goodbye**

"Do you think this looks weird?"

I hold up my drawing of a disformed man. The man in my pictures has his head as feet, and his legs as arms. His arms are his nose, and his eyes are on his knees. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I began drawing it, but it just came to me so I began to draw. But in a way my drawing started to make sense to me.

"Yes. I also think that drawing is a little disturbed," Lucas said.

For the past three weeks, after school I would find myself in Lucas' bedroom We would sit and talk and sometimes do homework. I loved spending time with him any chance I had. Lucas always managed to make me laugh at everything he said, even if it was't meant to be funny.

"Is it really? I didn't notice. I was going for the uniqueness of the man. You see, he's not like everyone else, and he doesn't want to be. He's an individual and doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. Kind of like you," I say nudging his arm.

"Well, I still see a man with an arm as a nose," Lucas says chuckling as he continues to read his book.

"Whatever," I pause before speaking. "Do you ever miss it?"

"Miss what?" Lucas asks setting his book down on the nightstand.

"You know, popularity. You showed me your yearbook yesterday, and you were in like every picture with a bunch of people. At your other school, you had so many friends and you were this great basketball star. And now all you have is me," I say suddenly feeling exceptionally guilty.

I feel as if I'm the reason he doesn't have other friends. How could someone go from being so popular and everyone wanting him, to having one friend that people think is weird? It just didn't make sense to me.

"Yes, I had a lot of friends, but none of them were really what I considered a friend. You, Peyton Sawyer, are more of a friend than any of the people at my other school were. And maybe all I want is you," Lucas says with a smile.

As soon as Lucas said that I felt a rush of something strange run through my body, almost like I started to tingle inside. I had never felt this feeling about anyone before. It was unfamiliar. I found myself wanting to be closer and closer to Lucas everday, especially because he always knew the right thing to say. The more time I spent with Lucas, the more I hated being away from him.

"Seriously?" I ask looking down at the mattress.

"Seriously," he says picking my chin up with his finger.

I nod lightly. "So why didn't you end up trying out for basketball? I mean before I was in the hospital you said you were going to, and now clearly you didn't."

"Because there was no time."

"What do you mean no time? The tryouts were only an hour and a half long," I say confused.

"Well, At 3:00, when I was done with school, I would always go and see you at the hospital. I wanted to be there when you woke up so you weren't scared. And I was going to try out, but then I decided that being with you in the hospital was more important than being on a high school basketball team."

I reach in to hug him, never wanting to let him go.

Friends like Lucas only come around once in a while, so for me to have someone like him is so rare and special. I'm glad that I was blessed to know Lucas. He's the keeper of my darkest secrets, but still accepts me anyway. He was truely all I could ever want or ask for.

Later that night, I lay awake in my bed, unable to fall asleep. I kept seeing the fury and rage in my father's face when he pushed me down the stairs. It was all replaying in my mind in slow motion. It kept reoccuring over and over in my head, and I couldn't stop it. I felt hot tears slide down the side of my face when I remembered my mother. I hadn't even went to her funeral. I couldn't help but consider myself a horrible daughter. Even though both my parents were gone, I couldn't escape them. They were always going to be with me. I closed my eyes tightly trying to get rid of the fear that was surrounding me.

I couldn't take it anymore. I got up from my bed and tip-toed quietly to Lucas' room. I watched as he slept on the right side of his bed buried under his blanket. I crawled into his bed on the left side, and he awoke quickly. He was a very light sleeper.

"Peyton?" he asked groggily while rubbing his eyes.

"Hi. Look. I'm sorry. Really. But I can't sleep." I paused. " I keep seeing my parents, and it won't go away. Can I sleep with you tonight?"I ask, feeling like a child.

He nodded his head. "Sure."

I layed in bed beside him not saying a word. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist while I buried my face into his bare chest. I felt safe now. I closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up at 6:30. Lucas was still asleep. I brought my hands to his face and traced his prominent features. His face was so soft and so gentle.

He stirred a little before waking. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi."

"You ok now?" he asked.

"Kind of. Not really. Well, last night I realized that the only way I'm going to get rid of my parents is if I have some sort of closure with them."

"Closure?" he asked confused.

"Yes. Closure. I need to go see them. Today," I say confidently.

"Peyton, I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe, you should just wait until the trial to see your Dad," Lucas said propping himself up on his elbows.

"No. I have to, now. It's the only way I'll ever truly escape them." I take a deep breath. "Do you know where my mother is buried?" I ask.

He nods his head. "Yeah. Tree Hill Cemetery."

"Will you go there with me, today?" I ask hopeful.

"Sure."

"Right now?" I ask.

"Yeah. Let's get dressed."

I get out of the bed and walk to my bedroom. I put on a pair of blue jeans with a rip in the knee, and a plain black shirt. I brush my teeth quickly before going to the kitchen.

When I look over Lucas' shoulder, he's writing Karen a letter.

_Mom,_

_Peyton and I had some things to take care of. Don't worry! _

_We'll be home a little later. I'll explain everything when I get home!_

_Love,_

_Lucas_

Lucas turns to me. "Ready?"

"No, but let's go," I say putting my coat on.

"Alright."

We arrive at the state prison. I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. My heart rate probably increased fifty times its original speed. My legs were weak while my breathing became heavy.

"Peyton, you ok?" Lucas asked.

We stopped before entering. "No. I..I guess I'm having second thoughts," I say running my hands nervously through my hair.

"Well, we don't have to go in there. We can go home if you want."

I shake my head. "No. We can't. I have to do this."

"Ok." Lucas looks down at me and sees my shaking hands. He takes my hand in his and entwines our fingers.

I nod my head at him as I open the door.

We walk to the front desk where there is an old woman sitting and reading a magazine.

"What can I help you with?" she asks still looking at her magazine.

I clear my throat a little before speaking. "Umm, hi. We're here to see Larry Sawyer."

This catches her attention as she tears her eyes away from the article she was reading. "Sawyer?" she asks in almost disbelief.

"Yes, Larry Sawyer."

"Are you Peyton?" she asks setting her magazine down.

She knows me? I look over at Lucas who looks just as confused.

I nod my head. "Yes, I'm Peyton."

"You look good, honey."

"Thanks, I guess. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know me?"

"Well, between you and me, you're the talk of this whole place," she says pointing around. "Mainly because your father put you in a coma for three months. It's good to know that you're alright." The woman smiles at me. "Now, if you don't mind me asking you a question, why are you here?"

It amazes me how everyone in the prison supposably knows me. "I'm here to get closure."

"He's a sick bastard you know?" the woman says pressing a button and calling for one of the guards to lead me to his cell.

"Yes. I know."

I take Lucas' hand once again as we follow the guard. I look around at the concrete walls and barbed wire. It smells of sweat and dirty socks.

The guard opens a door to wear all the cells in the prison are. We arrive to a cell with the number 254.

"Sawyer. Visitation," the guard tells him.

My father looks up from the ground toward me. His eyes were dull, but still had the piercing glow in them. He was growing a beard that really didn't suit him well. His face still scared me to death.

"Well, well. Look who finally decided to show up," my father said sitting up. "And look who else came," he said looking at Lucas.

"Why, Dad? Why did you do that to me?" I ask wanting to cut to the chase.

"Why did I do that? Well, first answer why you did this to me? You got what you wanted, Peyton. You put your FATHER in jail while your MOTHER is dead. Does that make you happy?"

My eyes started to well with tears. He was crawling under my skin like he always used to. A tear escaped my eye, traveling down the side of my face. Lucas looked over at me and squeezed my hand a little.

"Stop it! This isn't her fault. None of this is. You can't put the blame on her for something that you did!" Lucas yelled.

"It does make me happy," I whisper. "After thirteen years of hell, you finally got what you deserved, and I couldn't be happier," I say with confidence.

"Now, Peyton, tell me this. Would you be saying that if I wasn't behind these bars?" My father said walking closer to me.

"I am sick and tired of your crazy, pathetic threats. I'm sick of you hurting me for your own pleasure and because things in your life don't go right. So the answer to your question is yes. I hope you rot in hell," I spat at him.

My father just laughed. "Are you finished?"

"Yes I'm finished now. Have a nice time in prison," I say as I start to walk away.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Peyton," he yells after me. "There is still the trial, and there is a pretty good chance that I could get out of here."

Lucas motioned for me to keep walking. "Just ignore him. He's trying to scare you," he whispered.

Lucas and I quickly walked out of there.

"Do you feel better?" Lucas asked me.

"A lot better. I feel like the shadow of him won't be walking around with me."

"Do you still want to go see your mom?" Lucas asked while he opened his car door and stepped in.

"Yes. I have to."

We drove in silence to the Tree Hill Cemetery. I was still thinking of what I was going to tell her. My mother and I really didn't speak much, but she never hurt me. She also wouldn't stop my father from hurting me when it was happening. She just needed her drugs and alcohol. Even though she was either drunk or stoned, I knew she heard me screaming or yelling. She just blanked it out.

Lucas started to get out of the car, but I signaled with my hand for him to stay.

"I need to do this on my own," I say unbuckling my seat belt.

"Ok. I'll be here if you need me."

"Alright. I'll only be a few minutes."

"Take as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere," Lucas says.

"Thanks, Luke."

I walked from the car into the graveyard where there must have been thousands of graves. I wondered how many of these people died of an overdose like my mom.

I got to her grave and it read:

Anna Elizabeth Sawyer

September 10,1968

February 3, 2008

Normally, underneath the date it would say something about the person, but my mother's said nothing. It makes me a little upset to think that no one had come to her funeral when they buried her.

"Hi mom," I say as I start to feel a lump in my throat. "We both knew that this day would come sooner or later. Better sooner, I guess. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I never tried to help you quit smoking and drinking, and I'm sorry for the pain that Dad might have caused you, too." I close my eyes to try and stop tears from coming, but one of them escapes my eye and falls onto my mother's tombstone. "I just wish that we could have been a family like we used to be when I was little. You know, when you used to take me to the park, and I would complain how I wanted to stay a little longer, but you told me that we had to go home because Daddy would be getting back from work." I wipe my eyes with my right hand. "I miss that, and now I'll never get it back because you and Dad are selfish. This really kills me to say this, but the both of you got what you deserved." I start to break down and sob into my hands. The tears kept flowing uncontrollably, but I managed to speak. "I won't be visiting you anymore. This was goodbye. I have a new family now. People who care about me." I looked to my left and noticed a bush with daisies. I reached down for one, and placed it on my mother's grave. "Goodbye mom."

I walk back to Lucas' car trying to hold back my tears. I open the door and step inside. Lucas looks at me and notices my tears trickling down my cheeks. He reaches in and holds me in his arms as I cry. I suppose I was crying because I felt guilty. I almost felt like I was the one who was abandoning them, like I was the one who was wrong.

"You did so good, Peyton. Everything's going to be ok. You'll see," he whispers into my ear.

"Things have to get worse before they get better, right?" I ask wiping away my tears.

He smiles and nods. "Right."

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	10. Mixed Emotions

**A/N: Finally! It's back! YAY! All of your reviews were seriously amazing! I'm really sorry for the wait. I've been trying really hard to update as soon as I can. It's just not as easy as I thought it would be. **

**Oh and I will be updating Southern Summer Love next. Watch for it!**

**One more thing! I accidentally deleted my other story Her and Me because my computer was being psycho, but it's back up and so is chapter two in case you haven't read it. Sorry, but the reviews from chapter 1 of it were deleted along with the story, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read them.**

**Anyway, here's chapter ten of Judgmental! **

**xoxox**

**Gianna**

**Chapter 10- Mixed Emotions**

Fear is something that restricts us from living our lives normally, without being paranoid or afraid when we face it. Our minds exaggerate the consequences when we think about this emotion that causes us to always check our back, and what's the worst thing that could happen with it. Sometimes you can't share that fear with anyone because you're simply afraid of letting others no what's going on. It's almost as if this thing we call fear has us on a leash, tugging you back when you're almost away from it.

But fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time.

This is how I feel now. I'm scared to let others know that I'm living in fear because I want to be stronger. I want to believe that this fear that I still feel will go away. When I went to see my father, I thought that I was done. That I had won. But the truth is I won't win until he is finally in jail for good.

Now, my mother is a different story. I've won already, but I still feel as if I lost. Sometimes, I feel like I wasn't there for her in the way that I should have been. Maybe I could have done something to help her or just be there. I can't help the guilt I feel even though I honestly did nothing wrong. It just remains a part of me. The shame I feel lingers through my mind like the scent of death through a hospital.

Sometimes when I'm asleep at night, or at least trying to sleep, I see my mother's face. You know, before drugs and alcohol came into her life. I remember how beautiful she was, and how I wanted my smile to look exactly like hers. She had a magnetic personality and was always easily liked by all of our neighbors and friends. Her complection had a certain glow to it. The kind that would attract you to her the moment you saw her.

Then, my dream turned into a nightmare. Her beautiful features fade to an emotionless expression. The face of a stoner. The face of shattered dreams. The face of depression. The face of someone who doesn't care if she lives or dies. The face of someone who hears her daughter being thrown against a wall but doesn't acknowledge it. She simply pretends it never happened.

I hate that dream or better yet, that nightmare.

Every night, I sneek into Lucas' room and just sleep with him.

I lean my head against the head board of Lucas' bed while staring at the wall in front of me. My miind is in twenty different places at the exact same time. I'm not really sure if that makes sense, but it's the truth.

"Where's your head at, Peyton?"

Lucas. He understood me when no one else could. It was like he really knew me. This whole time that I had been living with Lucas and his family, I had built this bond with him that could never be broken. Mostly, it contained trust. Trust is both an emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is when you expose your vulnerabilities to people, believing they won't take advantage of you opening up. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating unexpected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both.

"I think a shorter answer would be where isn't my head at?" I say tearing my eyes away from the wall to look at Lucas.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked sitting up in the bed.

"It's just," I hesitated, "I guess I thought that going to see my parents would free me from them, but for some reason I feel... trapped. Almost like I'm never going to escape this feeling."

He looked away for a second and then back at me, as if he was debating on what he was about to say. "To be honest Peyton, I don't think you're ever going to escape it. I'm not saying that to scare you. I'm saying that because I think it's the truth. Who knows though. Perhaps, in time it will fade."

I cover my hands over my face and sigh in frustration. "I just want it to go away. It's scaring the hell out of me."

"You're going to be OK. Do you know why? Because me and Lily and my mom are going to help you get through this. We're here for you, Peyton. Whenever you need to talk."

"Thanks Lucas."

"Anytime," he took in a deep breath and then exhaled, "It's going to be tough, but you are strong."

I nod my head. "I am strong," I say convincing myself.

I got up from his bed and left his room with out another word. Entering my room, I looked at the calendar on the wall with the bright red X's going through the days that had past. I counted the days until the trial, my hands trembling when I realized how close it was. Three weeks exactly.

"You're strong," I say to myself, "You're strong."

Confidence. That's what I needed. The power of believing in myself regardless if it is the right or wrong thing to do. To others, it was a simple task, but to me, it was one of the hardest things that I lacked.

I layed in my own bed, and tried to fall asleep.

**NEXT DAY**

"Peyton! Hurry up! We're going to be late," Lucas said as he banged against the bathroom door.

"Would you please just give me two minutes?" I asked.

"Yeah, just make it a quick two minutes," he said walking away.

What's taking me so long, you ask? Let's just say I'm a little nervous about going to school, so I'm stalling. Why am I so nervous? I have to face them. All of them. After years of being ignored and years of people forgetting your presence then suddenly all eyes are on you, it's kind of nerve wrecking.

"Come on, Peyton. You need to stop this," I say to myself as I get up to open the bathroom door.

"Ready?" Lucas asks as he sees me.

I nod. "Yes."

The day went by as it always had. Different day, same shit. Staring, pointing, rumors, mumbling, you name it. It was getting annoying at this point. Didn't they have anything better to talk about besides Lucas and I? It was getting kind of old.

"So, Peyton how's your mom?" I turn to see her. As usual, Brooke Davis. She covered her mouth, pretending as if she didn't mean to say it. "Oh, sorry. She's dead isn't she. Must have slipped my mind."

I turn away from her and continue walking. _"Just ignore it, Peyton. She'll stop eventually."_ I thought.

"Aw, what's the matter? Did I hurt your feelings?" Brooke says spitefully.

I stop and turn toward her. I have to do this. I need the confidence. I open my mouth to speak, but then close it again. What am I doing? I can't be that way.

I take a deep breath and turn back around giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I didn't want to start a fight. Not like last time. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall to their level. To my father's level. I was better than that. The darkness doesn't have any answers.

When we got home later that day, I walked straight into Lucas' room as usual. We would take out our books, do some homework, talk, and sometimes just sit in silence.

"Did something happen today?" Lucas asked.

He could read me like a book. From a fake smile to a pained expression, he always knew something was bothering me.

"Yeah. Just Brooke being a bitch again."

"You didn't hit her, did you?" he asked almost cautiously.

"No. I did not hit her," I say with somewhat of a smile.

Lucas laughed and jumped on the bed next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder while picking me chin up. Lucas caught me off guard as soon as he did that.

He looked deep into my eyes, almost as if he is searching for something that I had hidden. My eyes remain glued to his due to the fact that I couldn't look away, even if I wanted to. Lucas licked his lips causing me to look at them. My heart started to race when he leaned toward me. I finally realized what he was doing; Lucas wanted to kiss me. I wasn't saying anything, but inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs. His strong hands cupped my cheek as I slowly let my eyes drop. I felt his lips gently brush against mine, barely even touching. It was like an electric switch was flicked on, and it surged through my entire body. Since I didn't pull away, he pressed his lips a little harder against mine, but it still remained soft. I felt like all the fears that I was recently feeling finally slipped away.

The moment was over too soon when I heard the front door open. I quickly pulled back and jumped off of his bed. He looked away with embarrassment.

"Lucas? Peyton? I'm home!" Karen called.

Lucas looked up at me. "We're in my room mom!"

I look down at the floor as I hear the noise of Karen's heels tapping against the hardwood floor.

"I have good news!" Karen says with much excitment. I lift my head up from the ground, suddenly curious.

"Your father is finally coming back home."

Lucas smiled widely. "When? Today?"

"Tomorrow night. His business trip will finally be over. We can finally be a family again." Karen turned toward me, her face switching to a concerned look. "Peyton? You ok?"

I nod my head. "Yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

Lucas' father. I had never met him. I wondered if he even knew that I was staying here.

"Ok. Well, dinner will be ready in a half hour," she said exiting Lucas' room.

I glanced over at Lucas who was playing with his hands. I didn't know what I was supposed to say to him. Was there a wrong or right thing to say? Was there something specific or something that was assigned that I was supposed to say? Honestly, before Lucas kissed me I had only thought of him as a friend. Now, my whole point of view seems to have switched from friendship mode to relationship mode.

"I'm sorry, Peyton." Lucas apologized.

"For what?" I asked. What was he so sorry for? I was happy that he kissed me.

"For kissing you." He looked away from me almost embarrassed.

"And why would you be sorry?" I asked.

He looked almost relieved when I said that. "I..umm..I just thought that would make things weird between us."

I shook my head. "No. It's ok."

I walked out of his room not waiting for him to reply. I strolled down the hallway accidently running into Lily.

"Woah. In a hurry to get somewhere?" She asked pulling herself away from me.

"No. Why?" I asked.

"Well, maybe because you just ran into me." She stared at me with a puzzled look across her face. "You Ok? You seem like something is on your mind."

Was it really that obvious? I didn't think it was, but apparently I wasn't very subtle.

"Nope, I'm good," I said as I began to walk away, but I felt her grab my arm and jerk me back toward her.

"Oh, no you don't. You're not telling me something," Lily said with a suspicious smile spreading widely across her face.

"Why would you say that?" I ask nervously.

"Because, you have THE look," she says while putting a lot of emphasis on the word 'the'.

"What's THE look?"

"You know, the kind where you're hiding something." She paused for a few seconds. "Spill, Peyton Sawyer!" she whispered loudly.

"I'm not hiding anything."

"Oh, don't give me that. Just tell me," she pleads.

I open my mouth to talk, but then close it. "It's stupid. It's nothing."

"Peyton! Come on. It's not like you were kissing Lucas or something," she says as a joke,

My face falls a little, giving away what was on my mind.

She looked at me almost stunned. No, I'd say shocked was a better word to describe the look she was giving me. "No way! Seriously?"

I nod my head, and she laughs a little. "Why is that funny?"

"Because I said it as a joke, and I was right."

I look at her with a somewhat annoyed expression.

"Oh, sorry." She apologizes. "Peyton, it's OK. You're acting like I'm going to bite your head off."

"Well, I wasn't sure if you would be mad or what," I say.

"Why would I be mad? I think you two are adorable," she says placing a hand over her heart to be more dramatic. She grabs my hand and pulls me into her bedroom. "OK. So give me some details. But don't be too descriptive because that's my brother." She made a disgusted face, but then smiled again.

I laughed a little.

I wasn't sure what really happened between Lucas and I. Let's just say, I have no dating experience, so I didn't know where we stood. Did it mean we were dating? Was it just spur of the moment?

The last thing I wanted was for it to be awkward between Lucas and I. He was someone I could depend on, and if it was weird being around him, then it wouldn't be the same.

**Please Review!**


	11. Face It All

**A/N: Guess who's the worst updater ever? Yes, I definitely could say that I have officially earned that title. I went from updating everyday to not updating for over a month. I'm really, truly sorry about that. Writer's block is a bitch, but I broke down the wall. I hope you all can forgive me. Once again, I'm very sorry. **

**As for the season 6 promo, I can't stop watching it! I am so ready for a season full of Lucas and Peyton, especially after season 5! Anyway enough about that. Hope you like the chapter!**

**Oh yes, I'm not a lawyer or a judge for that matter. So try and go easy on my during parts that involve these occupations. **

**Flashbacks are in _italics_!**

**Don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 11- Face it all**

Horrible. Awful. Madness. Cruelty. Hardship.Fearful. Horrendous. Shocking. Painful. These words describe my past that was not too long ago. The details of every little kick, push, punch, shove still remain fresh in my mind. It's a past that I will never forget. It's a past that I will never forgive. It's a past that will stay where it belongs.

Loving. Wonderful. Spectacular. Trustworthy. Amazing. This is how I see my future. I'm able to look past all the agony and pain, and move forward with my life, with who I want to be. If you asked me where I would be in the future about a year ago, I probably would have said dead. That's the sad truth.

But now, things have changed. I've changed. It's because of the kindness of a family. The warmth that these people had in their hearts. I was a stranger to them. They didn't know anything about me, or for that matter, "who I was". All they really knew was my name, but that doesn't show that they understood me. But yet, they knew I needed help and that I needed to get away. So that family did something that I will never be able to thank them enough for. They welcomed me into their home with open arms.

I never knew what the word "home" meant. That's because I didn't have a home. You see, home is where the heart is. Metaphorically speaking, my heart wasn't with my parents. It was with the Scott's. I guess you could say Dorthy's saying is true; "There's no place like home." And there really isn't.

FORTY DAYS LATER...

Today is a day that is full of craziness. Everyone is rushing and running around. Things are pretty hectic in the Scott household. But there is not any noise. No one is speaking. Everyone avoids saying anything almost as if they don't want to say what they are thinking. All you can here is the tapping of heels, the blow dryer screaming, the faucet water running, and the sharp zip of a makeup bag.

I'm not speaking for myself when I say that there is lots of angst and tension in the air. I feel nervousness and fear. Not just for me, but for everyone in the house. I stare blankly at the counter top that is taunting me. On top of it holds the reminder of what is to happen today. I have to look away because of the memories that swim back to me. But then I look back at it, almost as if it's controlling me and telling me to obey.

My eyes start to well with tears. They won't fall from my eyes. I won't let them. So, I swallow hard.

I jump when I feel a strong hand on my lower back.

"Woah, hey. I didn't mean to scare you."

It's only Lucas. The person who saved me from it all. The person who is not hard to fall in love with.

Lucas and I have been dating for about a month now, and it has been everything I could have ever wanted. Our relationship really wasn't planned. It sort of just happened. I believe that this whole time Lucas and I were supposed to end up with each other. Like the combination of destiny and fate brought us as together. Lucas has been there for me through everything, since he first moved here. If I truly, honestly think about it, if it wasn't for him. I would still be with my parents. What would have happened if he hadn't chose to sit next to me his first day of school? What would have happened if I hadn't told him about my father? Where would I be right now? Those thoughts really scare me because I wouldn't be who I am right now with out him.

"No it's fine. I was just thinking. That's all," I say pull a strand of hair behind my ear.

He sees that I'm a trembling so he takes me in his arms, and just holds me. This is where I feel safe like nothing or no one can hurt me. Lucas is my safe haven. All my bad thoughts and fears tend to slip away as soon as any part of him touches my skin.

I love him for it.

"Every thing's going to be okay," He whispers in my ear as he runs his hands up and down my back. I squeeze him a little tighter not wanting to let go. He gently kisses the side of my forehead.

"Thanks," I say as I bury my face into his shoulder.

He nods his head as a gesture of saying 'you're welcome.' I loosen my grip on him and slowly pull away. "Peyton, you're not even ready yet. We have to leave for the court hearing in, " He turns his head to look at the clock, "fifteen minutes." Lucas smirks a little.

"I just don't want to go. I'm really nervous, and it's going to be so hard to have to see him again," I say while fidgeting my ring that is on my finger and staring toward the floor.

I feel Lucas index finger lift my chin up so my eyes meet his. "You're going to be fine. You're the toughest person I know. Do you see all that you've been through?"

I nod my head and shrug my shoulders a bit.

He nods his head too. "Look where you are now. You were a fighter, Peyton, and you still are. You went through hell, but you chose to fight back. That's what today is. You're fighting back. He's not going to win this. Do you know why?" he asks slightly smirking.

"Why?" I say quietly.

"Because you are." I smile up at him and kiss his lips gently.

"Alright, you two. I'm here so you can stop," Lily says laughing as she walks into the kitchen.

Lucas and I smile at her feeling only slightly embarrassed.

She stops laughing once she looks at my outfit. "Peyton, you're not ready yet?" Lily asks almost in disbelief.

"Actually I was just going to get ready."

"Well, you better hurry up because we're-"

I cut her off. "Leaving in fifteen minutes. I know."

As I walk down the hallway to get to my bedroom, I run into Lucas' father Keith. I stand there, not saying anything because I'm shocked at how hard I ran into him.

"Peyton, I'm so sorry about that. Are you okay?" he asks with so much concern.

I smirk. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Keith is the type of man who works hard. Because Keith's hard work payed off, they moved here. He still had to take long business trips around the world that sometimes could last up to six months so he wasn't around when I first came here. Ever since he's come back, he's treated me like I was glass. Like I would break at the slightest bump or accidental push. He's a really good person, and he's very kind. His heart is pure gold. Although, the first time he saw that I would be living with them, he was quite hesitant.

_The dinner table was the same as it was every night. Talkative, laughing, telling how everyone's day went._

_"...So then the kid puked up all of his food right back on his plate," Lily was saying as she told a story._

_"Lily, please. Why do you have to tell stories like that while we're eating at the dinner table. I'm pretty sure none of want to hear that a kid puked up his lunch," Karen said obviously disgusted._

_Lucas and I laughed quietly._

_"Peyton, how was your day? No fights with Ms. Brooke Davis?" Karen asked half joking and half serious._

_I smiled a little. "It was like every other day, and no I didn't get into a fight with Brooke."_

_Everyone at the table laughed. For some reason, they all still couldn't believe that I had fought Brooke. They never pictured me as that type of person. The honest truth is neither did I. It just happened. All my anger needed to be released, and Brooke was the one who triggered it all._

_Suddenly, we all heard the front door open, and the running of footsteps approaching us. All our heads turned to the hallway that would lead the person to where we were sitting. _

_"I'm home!" the unfamiliar voice yelled._

_Everyone at the table jumped out of their seats and sprinted down the hallway with smiles from ear to ear across their faces. I got up from my seat slowly to see just who the person was. I wasn't just going to pounce on someone who I didn't know. I walked down the hall almost cautiously. Everyone was taking turns hugging the man who I assumed was Karen's husband and Lily and Lucas' father. _

_Karen stopped smiling when she noticed me standing about four feet behind them. Her face almost fell completely as if she had seen a ghost. She looked at me and then back at her husband. Lily and Lucas soon did the same thing their mother did. Their father stood there confused at why everyone was looking at me and then looking at him. Lily and Karen exchanged worried glances. _

_I took a wild guess; Karen didn't tell him about me and the fact that I was living with them._

_"Keith, this is Peyton," Karen said motioning for me to come closer. "Peyton this is Keith."_

_He extended his hand, and I took it in mine, shaking it lightly. Everyone remained silent for a little while until Karen finally spoke._

_"Keith, can I talk to you in the kitchen?" she asked._

_The look of bewilderment was spread across his scruffy face. "Sure."_

_I looked at Lily and Lucas with worried eyes. Lily grabbed my arm and pulled me with her to the end of the hallway, just before you enter the kitchen._

_"What are we do-" _

_She cut me off. "Shh," Lily said._

_I soon felt Lucas presence as he also listened in on what the two adults were talking about._

_"What do you mean she's living with us?" Keith asked in a loud whisper._

_"Just the way it sounds," Karen said in a whisper just as loud as his._

_"How long has she been here?" He asks almost in disbelief._

_"She's been her for about two months," Karen said calmly._

_"Two months?! Where are her parents, and why is she staying here?!" Keith asked louder than he intended to._

_"Would you please keep your voice down?" Karen said in a hushed whisper. She sighed before continuing. "Peyton was in the hospital for three months. Her father put her in a coma."_

_"What?"_

_"Let me finish." Karen took a deep breath. "Her father used to beat her, and she couldn't go back there. So she's staying with us."_

_"Isn't there some other place she could stay? With a family member, her mom, an aunt or an uncle? Keith asked._

_"She has no other family. Her mother overdosed on drugs. She's dead," Karen said seriously. Keith was about to speak again, but she stopped him. "You don't understand, Keith! We are all she has!"_

_Keith rubbed his forehead, and then nodded his head. "Okay, alright. She can stay."_

Karen, Keith, Lily, Lucas, and I entered the courtroom along with our lawyer Jerry Romano. I held Lucas' hand so tightly to the point that my hand was pulsing.

"It's going to be okay," he reassured me.

I nodded my head.

The room was extremely clean. It was just like the typical courtrooms that you see on TV. The pews were made out of cherry wood, the jury sat talking quietly to each other in their seats, and the judges chair was the highest chair in the room. Jerry Romano and I took a seat in the front of the room while Lily, Karen, Lucas, and Keith sat in the pews.

I looked behind me when I saw my father and his lawyer enter the courtroom. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. The sly smirk he gave me, the way everyone watched him, the way my lawyer patted my shoulder, the way the concern in Karen's eyes came out.

He looked me right in the eye, and I looked right back. The truth is, I was scared to death, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his intimidation was working. I watched him up until the point when he sat at the table to left of me.

"Don't worry about him," Jerry said giving me a wink.

"I know."

"All rise!" A deep voice said as the judge entered the room to get to her seat.

Everyone stood up waiting to be seated again.

"You may be seated," the judge said.

About ten minutes into the court hearing, they started to call people to the stand. People that would be defending my father. Naturally, it made me sick to see that people would actually want to defend him for all that he did to me. I looked over at my father as he smiled at the man who was on the stand. I looked away from him, taking a deep breath.

"Did you ever see Mr. Sawyer mistreat Peyton in any particular way? Verbally or physically?" My lawyer Jerry asked the man.

"Never. Larry was always kind to his daughter. He always gave her anything she wanted." The man rubbed his forehead. "Honestly, I think this girl is just trying to get some attention, so she will accuse her father of doing something that he never did."

Jerry nodded his head. "So you're saying that Larry never once layed even a finger on Peyton, ever?"

"Yes, that's correct," the man said.

"Is that why I have pictures on file of all the damage that points to Larry Sawyer physically beating her?" Jerry said as he began to pull out pictures.

"Objection!" My father's lawyer stood up.

"Sustained. Please continue Mr. Romano," Judge Amy said.

"Thank you, your honor," he turned back to the man in the stand. "Are you going to answer the question?"

"I believe that Peyton caused harm to herself. Not her father."

Jerry looked back at me and smiled as if we were doing good. "No further questions."

The trial was going by for what seemed like forever. People would go up to the stand, and tell lies that I beat myself up to attract attention from others. All I wanted to do was scream out "Liar" but I remained quiet.

"I call Lucas Scott to the stand," Jerry said.

I looked back at Lucas confused. He never told me that he was going to testify. He barely smiled at me as he walked to the stand where he would soon be questioned.

Lucas raised his right hand and placed it on a bible.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," he said looking back at me.

"Mr. Scott, when did you meet Peyton?" Jerry asked as he walked slowly toward the stand where Lucas sat.

"It was the first day of school, right when I moved here. I sat next to her in English class," Lucas said, the confidence was obvious in his voice.

I smiled inwardly at the thought of when we first spoke.

"How would you describe Peyton the first time you saw her?" Jerry asked pointing to me.

"She seemed lonely. No one ever took the time to understand her or where she was coming from. Or better yet what she was going through." Lucas looked me in the eye while taking a deep breath.

"Why'd you decide to become friends with her?"

"She was different. I could tell that she had all of these secrets that she was hiding, and I wanted to know what she was about," Lucas said rubbing the bottom of his chin.

Jerry nodded. "I see. Did Peyton ever tell you that her father beat her?" Jerry asked even though he knew the answer to that question.

"At first, she freaked out when I saw the bruises on her wrists. She lied and said that she fell, but I knew on some level it wasn't true. Eventually, she told me while we were in my car."

"She told you her father hit her?" Jerry asked.

"Yes."

"Peyton is currently staying with you and you're family, correct?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Why?" He asked.

"She doesn't want to have to see him, her father that is."

"No further questions, your honor," Jerry said as he went to his seat next to mine.

Just as Lucas was about to get up, my father's lawyer spoke. "I have a few questions."

Suddenly, I could see that Lucas was becoming nervous. He seemed intimidated by my father's lawyer, but he quickly shook away the nervous feeling by once again staring confidently.

"Mr. Scott, I understand that you and Ms. Sawyer recently started a relationship and-"

"Objection! He has no right to ask about his personal life with my client," Jerry spoke.

"Your honor, I promise this question has a point," he said to Judge Amy.

She nodded. "Sustained."

"As I was saying, you two do have a relationship, correct?" he asked.

Lucas glanced at me and swallowed hard, I nodded for him to continue. "Yes."

"And so since she is involved with you romantically, you would do anything to protect her?"

"Of course, I would."

"So you would lie for her if she asked you to?" He asked abruptly.

"I'm not lying," Lucas said sternly.

"That's not the question I asked. Would you lie for her if-"

"Objection!" Jerry yelled.

"Sustained. Continue Mr. Joritz," Judge Amy said.

"It would depend on the seriousness," Lucas said while sighing. "I wouldn't lie about something like this. Not even for her. This is too big of something to lie about."

"Are you sure?" Mr. Joritz asked.

"Yes, I am sure," Lucas said.

"No further questions," Mr. Joritz replied while going to sit next to my father.

"Alright, we are going to take a ten minute recess," Judge Amy spoke while she pounded her hammer like object against a block of cherry wood.

I was never so thankful to get out of that courtroom, but what made me even more scared was knowing that in ten minutes I would be on the stand.

**A/N: Hope you all like it! I promise that my next update will come sooner. Review are always nice!**


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